Bumming with Bobcat: Bringing you the best of the worst in cheap booze since 2014

Monday, November 20, 2017

The Krude Experience - Turkeys


Turkeys

Ah. My condolences to all the recently beheaded,plucked,gutted and flash frozen turkeys of the world. Krude gonna further malign the turkey name by creating a list of shitty things that somehow became popular and a tradition of sorts. I'm not even working in the title of 'Golden' turkey. A turkey is a turkey. As is a jive turkey is a jive turkey. Electric knife not needed here. And an electric hair trimmer is the original sawzall. I digress... Carrying on....



Forrest Gump
Tom Hanks was almost cool up until he made the movie Turner and Hooch. That flick cemented my overall hatred for all things Hanks. Then came the string of 'serious' Hanks movies in the early 90's. Gump was very popular at the time and I somehow got dragged to see it. What a sack of shit that movie was. Yet,it remains a sentimental favorite of millions of Americans. Like a Thanksgiving turkey dinner. Wrong but right for the wrong reasons.

Subway
 Krude is from Northern NJ and has had access to some of the best hero,hoagie,sub,whatever you call it sandwiches over the years. Whether you go to a deli or buy the provisions and make your own.Sandwiches here in NJ far exceed most of what passes for sandwiches in the continental USA. That brings me to the 'somehow still in business' business of Subway. Pure crap. Hardly edible 'food product'. Damn,this place blows. But I keep seeing new shops open up all the time. I'm sure we'll see a Subway be the first fast food joint to open on planet Mars. That's because their meats and cheeses are so toxic with no expiration dates. And only thick skinned immortals like Dick Cheney and Keith Richards could survive there.

Black Friday
Anybody who wakes up at 3am on the day after Thanksgiving to get on a line outside a Walmart to score a slashed priced TV set is a sucker. More like a dumb sucker. Black Friday is just another over hyped catch phrase to make the suckers of the world feel like the are getting bargain. I don't remember having a 'Black Friday' in the 1970's nor in the 80's. But since it is retails' most popular day (outside of Xmas Eve) in the realm of now, who would ever question the validity of the alleged 'sales'? Commerce Baby! And a day off for Govt and office workers. Toll takers and bartenders still slinging their skills.

Happy Thanksgiving to anybody who recognizes that the holiday is about being thankful for a bountiful harvest. In modern day,that means being thankful for all the Good in your life. And not necessarily about eating a roast turkey and being nice to Mom for one day out of the year. Mahalo.

Gravy on your thighs

KK
@kapn_krude

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