Krüde 2023 NFL Season Preview
Can the NFL aka No Fun League make this current 2023 season a winner for fans and gamblers alike? We shall see. Krüde writing his annual NFL season predictions is like getting a cold sore on your lip just before hooking up with a chick- it happens and you deal with it. So in the interest of parity and parlays, I give you my 2023 NFL team predictions (for entertainment purposes only, like the NFL)
Arizona Cardinals-
anybody remember that the last Super Bowl was played in their hot box
dome? Or Colt McCoy is in his 14th season? Didn’t think so
Atlanta Falcons- An HC who is spawn to the founder of
Fed Ex. And a founder of Home Depot as the owner. Wealthy white collar Dirty
Birds don’t fly far
Baltimore Ravens- Gave Jackson a boatload of dough to
win a playoff game or two. Clowney signs for cheap. Something in the air
there….
Buffalo Bills- this is the freakiest team in the
league. Yet,they seem to cover the point spread a lot. Allen is a company man.
He tows the line
Carolina Panthers- Hmmm… Who is the QB for this squad
now? I kinda miss ol’ Cam and Riverboat Ron. Can’t even laugh at Darnold
anymore either
Chicago Bears- Is this the year Fields suddenly becomes a
winner? Call Trubisky just in case. It will get ugly in Chi-town
Cincinnati Bengals- Suddenly a powerhouse team due to
Burrow and his WRs. I’m not sold on these guys at all. Their alternate uniforms
are all sorts of awful
Cleveland Browns- Watson gets a full year to play.
Interesting team of miscreants. Could be the dark horse this season in AFC. Or
same old Browns
Dallas Cowboys- Dak or bust. Or Jerry says something
VERY stupid during the season to distract the team. Either way, Jones makes big
bank despite his buffoonery
Denver Broncos- New sheriff in town. Same sad deputy.
The Payton/Wilson axis doomed in thin air land
Detroit Lions- Not sure why this team gets to open
their season playing the Chiefs in Primetime. Is Motown getting funky again?
Green Bay Packers - Rodgers gone. No stars in Cheeseland. Just
Love. Tickets at Lambeau could be easy to get this season
Houston Texans- Not too long ago, this team had the
best WR,the best DE, the best RB and a great QB. Yet never won shit. Same old
T-Boys
Indianapolis Colts- Isray must be gobbling strong painkillers
again. This team is built to….not sure. Gardner Minshew is the backup QB. ‘Nuff
said
Jacksonville Jaguars- Trendy pick to go places this
year. Like travel to London for two games. Trevor Lawrence looks like a Kum n’
Go gas jockey with Uncle Rico’s arm strength
Kansas City Chiefs- This team has played a ton of
games over the past 4 years. It will catch up to them this season. Steer clear
of betting this team
Las Vegas Raiders- I picked them for SB last year. My
bad. If McDaniels HC career mimics Belichick, he will be in SB this season. At
home stadium….
Los Angeles Chargers- Herbert is fun to watch play
QB. Like Dan Fouts and Philip Rivers before him. They compete every week then
fail in the stretch
Los Angeles Rams- From SB win to the cellar. Does LA
have its perennial winner? Doubt it. Stafford has a ring and a hot wife. Now to
stay non concussed
Miami Dolphins- living on Tua time. Over achievers
last year. Back down to Earth this year. Hill talking Super Bowl before pre
season will be rubbed in his face by week 12
Minnesota Vikings- Cousins’ team. And not of the
tasty lobster roll sandwich variety. Hot and cold team. Jefferson wears magnet
gloves. Who knows?....
New England Patriots- Is this the season to make
Billy B finally retire? Not much going right for this team. Mac is a hack
New Orleans Saints- NOLA has a new QB. And a guardian
angel watching over them. Excitement in the Super Dome until about week 9. Then
reality sets in
New York Giants- Danny Jones made bank. Repeat: Danny
Jones made bank. Barkley makes ¼ of what Danny makes. Not the way you run a
team
New York Jets- Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood. Will he be
the savior Jets fans have needed since 1969? Maybe. Snoopy Stadium will be
buzzing all season long
Pittsburgh Steelers- Tomlin will squeeze 9 wins out
of this team. Somehow. Rebuild still happening. Can you name a player not named
Watt on this team?
Philadelphia Eagles- Hurts proved his worth on the
big stage. And lost. Still made bank though. League will be after this team
hard.
San Francisco 49ers- take your pick of mediocre QBs
they keep on the roster. Defense always solid. Offense loaded with stars.
Except at QB
Seattle Seahawks- Geno’s time to shine. He got this
team to playoffs last year with 9 wins. Pete Carroll in the twilight of his
coaching career
Tampa Bay Buccaneers- Baker Mayfield in the drivers
seat. No running game. Solid D. Long, hot year in the little Sombrero
Tennessee Titans- Tannehill’s last ride. Possible
Henry’s last good year. Titans are to be avoided by viewers and gamblers at all
costs
Washington Commanders- on paper, a solid team. In reality, a well coached train wreck of an organization. This franchise needs a complete reboot after the Snyder debacle
And there is the Krüde 2023 NFL season breakdown. Be sure to generously tip your bartender or waiter. And keep a solid alibi handy to float to the loved one (when needed). Cheers!
KK
@kapn_krude