Rolling and Rocking
Early Saturday morning. My internal alarm clock sounds and
wakes me up. 7am. Shit. I have to hit the road at 7:30am to drive 60 miles to
make it to work by 9. I am opening the showroom I work at on Saturdays now.
Tried to switch hours for today with the chick I work with. But she probably
wanted to snuggle with her dude for a extra few hours. I don’t blame her. I
would’ve thrown a high, hard one down the middle to my broad this morning. Only
having 30 minutes to piss, shit, shower, shave, dress and eat a donut, pussy will
have to be attended to later. I gots to hit the road and sling hash for the Man
Raw, foggy morning while riding on Route 80 in NJ. 80
is a NJ state cops’ favorite place to write speeding tickets. Luckily, no speed
traps this morning. My hangover from the night before really isn’t a hangover.
I’m still kinda buzzed. Drank a bunch of Wild Turkey 101 while hanging
on YouTube live with a fine bunch of quality drunkards who were
celebrating 300 episodes of the BumWineBob podcast last night. I put on
a mix of Hanoi Rocks on my mp3 player. Love this band. Rock N’Roll the
way it should be played. I realize how good this sounds at high volume while keeping
steady at 85mph in my duct taped 2011 Toyota Corolla
Gotta
pull myself together
Hey hey hey, hear me say
I gotta drive right into the fire
And I'm burnin', burnin', burnin'
I'm motorvatin'
Hell
yeah! This song Motorvatin’ and those lyrics are perfect right now. The
narcotic pain pill I took to rid my skull of the nasties is kicking in. Mixing
booze and Oxys is the Devil’s breakfast. Add in the bitchin’ chocolate donuts I
just ate and I’m feeling sublime.
When
drinking a bunch of hard hooch straight up, be prepared for that shit to creep
through your pores for a few hours. Krüde, being a veteran of this phenomena, knows
better. I wear a cologne that overpowers the bourbon stank. Enter Fragrance
One Unisex cologne. Chicks dig it. I keep it in the car glove box for just
this occasion. I wasn’t expecting any action in the showroom this morning. But
sprayed some on anyways just before entering the building. Then stood by the
front window of the showroom (kitchen cabinet showroom) to watch the skirts
across the street enter a hair salon. Saturday mornings are made for women to
wear yoga tights. My challenge is to determine if they are wearing a thong,
g-string or are going commando. Mostly thongs on this 45 degrees morning. Oh
well….
A
client walks into showroom about an hour later. Damn. She is 45 minutes early. I
was watching a fine porn scene on XNXX with my favorite porn starlet Ginger
Lynn. She was the queen of 1980’s smut films. But work is what I am here
for. Designed a nice small kitchen for her dad (she wants to surprise him with
$8500 worth of cabinets and $3800 worth of countertops).This lady paid in all $100
bills. Gotta like people who pay with cash. And she did comment favorably on my
cologne. All good
Heading
home from work is when my age hits me. I’m 53 years young. I don’t recover
quickly from heavy drinking nights like I used to. My ass is dragging now. No
desire for liquor tonight. My old lady is tending bar at a nearby joint. She
would pour me a few stiff ones. But with my gout riddled spine and queasy
stomach, I resign myself to a memory foam king size bed and chill. Welcome to
your fifties Krüde. I know you’re going to like it….
Love
Peace
Soul,
KK
@kapn_krude T
@krude_kapn IG
Want to listen to the 300th episode of Bumming with Bobcat instead? Press the play button below to tune in on Premier Podcast Network! Cheers!