Welcome fellow bum wine connoisseurs! Your tickets have been punched so today we can make it to the third stop on our trip visiting the top 5 bum wines. Today's stop is the Night Train Express!
For myself this was the bum wine that started it all. From the first time I heard the song Nightrain by Guns N' Roses, I knew that I had to give this fine wine a try. Upon first taste I could feel the rush come over me. I don't know if it was the massive amounts of sugar and sulfites, but it was time to take a ride on the train!
Any time that you have a gathering that involves the night train express, you know that you are ready for a good time. Do yourself a favor and pick yourself up a case of this bad boy so you are ready to go at all times. This wine can be enjoyed year round: winter, spring, summer, fall. It's all good. I've sat around the fire drinking some night train and I've sat out on the deck in the middle of summer enjoying a glass. Simply delicious!
Some people are not fans of the taste saying that it is too sugary and tastes like gasoline. Now this may be true, but i have a solution for you! The "Sprite Train" is a worthy substitute for someone who wants to take a ride on the train, but does not want to end their night early having to let some passengers off.
The Night Train Express is what we call "old reliable". If you are looking for a quick pick me up, there is no need to look any further. Urban dictionary describes the Night Train as follows:
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| All Aboard! |
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| The perfect celebration wine. |
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| Sprite + Night Train = Delicious |
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| A great gift idea for that special someone! |
High Potency (18% ABV) citrus flavored fortified wine. It retails for
just $2.69 for a 750ml bottle in most markets. A favorite of skid-row
drunks. It is made by the same company that manufactures Thunderbird.
Many experienced drunks have come to the conclusion that Night Train is
just a flavored varient of Thunderbird. Recently taken off the market in
many eastern states. Night Train is the drink referenced in the Guns N'
Roses classic
Nightrain. The label reads Night Train Express, serve very cold along with a graphic of a black stream engine charging through the night.
Nightrain. The label reads Night Train Express, serve very cold along with a graphic of a black stream engine charging through the night.
"MD 20/20, no way, Night Train all the way"
Now make sure you don't get the Night Train Express confused with the act of Night Training, because that has been known to happen in the past.
Night Training is the act of re-engaging in sexual intercourse with a
sleeping sexual partner. Upon Penetration one must scream in their
partner's ear "All Aboard" in order for it to be considered Night
Training.
Guy 1: Dude my girlfriend broke up with me cause I Night Trained her this morning
Guy 2: You're a douche but that's funny as shit
Guy 2: You're a douche but that's funny as shit
Until our next installment tomorrow, bottoms up! Thanks Axl!
(Currently listening to Appetite For Destruction by Guns N' Roses)