The full Gallo Report archives are now online here at Bumming with Bobcat! Those of you that have been with us since the old Lex Express days have been waiting for these to finally resurface, and after the special best of edition that was posted last week, it is now time to give you all the total package! Will we ever see the return of The Gallo Report? Only time will tell....
The Gallo Report 8/13/02
The Gallo Report 8/13/02
Finally the Gallo Report has come back to the Lex Express 2! Fans I apologize for the recent absence of the report but the man behind this column were on a little vacation. There is much big news in the world of wrestling that needs to be caught up on, and you’re only going to hear about it here on the Gallo Report. It’s Luger Tuesday August 13, 2002, and the biggest update in the history of the website is taking place so here’s the newest installment of the Gallo Report.
I’m
going to take a new approach to start off this week’s column and get some
things off my chest about the WWE. I like to call this What Pisses Me Off!
1. Hulk Hogan’s theme music
2. Paul Heyman’s ponytail
3. Eddie Guerrero’s mullet
4. The damn Rock winning the title for the Undertaker at Vengeance after he went off making movies, in my opinion he should be jobbing for Essa Rios on Velocity.
5. Brock Lesnar twitching every 3 seconds.
6. Ric Flair’s Man Breasts
7. Hulk Hogan’s Feathers
8. Kurt Angle’s Bald Head
9. Stephanie McMahon- Smackdown GM
10. Hulk Hogan’s theme music
11. The Anti-Americans
12. D-Lo Brown not getting pushed up the card and wrestling Raven every week on Heat.
13. Hulk Hogan’s theme music
14. Rico’s freaking mutton chops
15. Yes, once again Hulk Hogan’s theme music, Hulk just go back to Real American and those feathers look ridiculous
That is what pisses me off!
2. Paul Heyman’s ponytail
3. Eddie Guerrero’s mullet
4. The damn Rock winning the title for the Undertaker at Vengeance after he went off making movies, in my opinion he should be jobbing for Essa Rios on Velocity.
5. Brock Lesnar twitching every 3 seconds.
6. Ric Flair’s Man Breasts
7. Hulk Hogan’s Feathers
8. Kurt Angle’s Bald Head
9. Stephanie McMahon- Smackdown GM
10. Hulk Hogan’s theme music
11. The Anti-Americans
12. D-Lo Brown not getting pushed up the card and wrestling Raven every week on Heat.
13. Hulk Hogan’s theme music
14. Rico’s freaking mutton chops
15. Yes, once again Hulk Hogan’s theme music, Hulk just go back to Real American and those feathers look ridiculous
That is what pisses me off!
· Do
not let Triple H and the WWE fool you he was not the man that threw Shawn
Michaels through the car window on Raw on July 29th. Triple H could have been
an accomplice to the act, but he did not act alone there is a higher power
Triple H is working for. The real man behind this devastating attack is none
other than Shawn Michaels former Rocker partner Marty “What About Me” Jannetty”.
If you go back in time you can remember when Shawn Michaels threw Jannetty
through the Barber Shop window. It is awful funny how Shawn got thrown through
a glass window. Coincidence? I think not. Marty will strike at Summerslam and
help Triple H beat up HBK at their quote on quote “fight” and will rip Michaels
down to his underwear and power bomb him through a flaming table.
· In
high school Chuck Palumbo was on the debate team.
· The
NWO is finally dead in the world of wrestling. It seems Big Show, X-Pac, HBK,
and Kevin Nash (injured) have all gone their separate ways but I think there is
going to be a new poison injected in the WWE the (BWO) Blue World Order. The
Blue Meanie has been out of the WWE for almost 3 years now, but my guess is by
mid-fall he will be back with new recruits.
In Next week’s Gallo Report you have to look forward to
these stories:
· Goldberg vs. Gillberg?
· Someone’s been causing trouble behind the scenes of WWE shows who is it?
· Where the hell is Jason Sensation?
· A Bushwhacker is returning, but which one?
· B. Brian Blair speaks out in a one-on-one interview.
· Goldberg vs. Gillberg?
· Someone’s been causing trouble behind the scenes of WWE shows who is it?
· Where the hell is Jason Sensation?
· A Bushwhacker is returning, but which one?
· B. Brian Blair speaks out in a one-on-one interview.
The Gallo Report 7/4/02
Welcome fans to the new and improved Gallo Report here on the Lex Express 2. This site has been about a year in the making, and what better day to re-launch the best wrestling site of all-time than on our nation¡¦s birthday July 4th. Loyal fans of this site will remember the weekly Gallo Report from last year¡¦s site, but this year¡¦s column is much more uncut, uncensored, and will get all the information you the wrestling fan want to know that nobody else is telling you. So don¡¦t go on WWE.com and read the Ross Report and think your getting accurate information because Good Old JR lies in his reports the Gallo Report has nothing but 100 % accurate information given to me by people in the wrestling business. So without further ado I would like to unleash the newest Gallo Report here on the Lex Express 2!
· A
source closest to me has given me information that Vince McMahon has met with
none other than Bret The Hitman Hart to give him another shot at being a WWE
superstar. The meeting didn't get out of hand at first, in fact Bret Hart was
very courteous to Mr. McMahon's office. This was until Vince and Bret were
close to signing a deal when Mr. McMahon told Hart his plans for his character.
Mr. McMahon wanted Bret Hart to dress up like a big blind homosexual whale and
run down the isle blindly at various times. Bret was furious when he heard this
and said "You screwed me at the 97' Survivor Series against HBK, you made
a mockery of me using a midget, you killed my character, and you killed my
brother so now you want me to ruin my image more and dress up like some queer
whale" I don't think so McMahon! Bret than spit a goober in Vince's hair
for the second time and ruined many thousands of dollars of equipment. I think
it is safe to say all talks between Bret and Mr. McMahon is off.
· This
next story on the Gallo Report will seem rather shocking to you the wrestling
fan because the WWE has lied to you to cover up something they didn't want you
to know. WWE superstar Lita has allegedly been sidelined from wrestling due to
a neck injury where we heard the whole phony story on WWE Confidential last
week. Lita is not injured in fact she is suspended from the WWE indefinitely
for the next month. The situation was one night backstage Lita couldn't take
Paul Heyman's ponytail anymore so she attempted to chop it off. Lita had to be
restrained by the likes of the Brooklyn Brawler and Gerald Brisco so that she
didn't cut it completely off. This was worse than Bradshaw's attempt to cut off
Michaels Hayes mullet.
· I
have found this big-time news story from a source that has told me that Vader
has been arrested. Yes, Leon White (Vader) was arrested Monday Night July 1,
2002 on suspicion of spitting and threatening officers with rocks, resisting
arrest, drinking and driving, careless driving and leaving the Members of the
Colorado State Patrol and Boulder County Sheriff's Office responded at 8:30
p.m. to Court and Whaley Drive regarding a sport utility vehicle that crashed
into a bush. The suspect, who suffered a cut on the head, left the scene and
drove a block away to his home, witnesses reported.
When contacted by authorities, the 6-foot 4-inch 375-pound White told them he was looking for bullfrogs and catfish in a pond and crashed while driving home, according to an arrest report.
Officers reported White seemed severely intoxicated and had to hold himself up on the door jam. White became belligerent with officers when asked about his level of intoxication and said: "I will and can kick all of your asses! Let's fight ...," according to the arrest report.
Two of the deputies got their dogs out for protection. White stared the animals down and said he would kill them, the report said.
At one point, White picked up two rocks the size of baseballs and clenched them in his fists, Trooper Scott Hinshaw said. He also is alleged to have spit toward the trooper, but missed.
Eventually, officers were able to calm White down and he was handcuffed without incident.
When contacted by authorities, the 6-foot 4-inch 375-pound White told them he was looking for bullfrogs and catfish in a pond and crashed while driving home, according to an arrest report.
Officers reported White seemed severely intoxicated and had to hold himself up on the door jam. White became belligerent with officers when asked about his level of intoxication and said: "I will and can kick all of your asses! Let's fight ...," according to the arrest report.
Two of the deputies got their dogs out for protection. White stared the animals down and said he would kill them, the report said.
At one point, White picked up two rocks the size of baseballs and clenched them in his fists, Trooper Scott Hinshaw said. He also is alleged to have spit toward the trooper, but missed.
Eventually, officers were able to calm White down and he was handcuffed without incident.
· At a
recent WWE house show it was pandemonium as we had 5 different WWE Undisputed
Champions in one night. Yes, fans the Undisputed Champion, the Undertaker
walked into the show the champion and were set to defend the belt against The
Rock. The Undertaker defeated the Rock by himself and as he was ready to leave
ringside Vinnie Vegas approached ringside and challenged the Undertaker for the
gold. The Undertaker accepted the challenge and the fight was on! Vinnie Vegas
got a hold of the Undertaker's tights and got the 1-2-3 and was crowned the new
Undisputed Champion! Vinnie
Vegas was showing off the gold backstage when the Booty Man was back their
and challenge him for the gold and Vegas accepted. It was a great match, but
Vegas had the title for no more than 10 minutes when he lost it to the Booty
Man. The house show crowd was shocked. All of a sudden Gillberg approached
the ring and the crowd went nuts! Gillberg challenged the Booty Man to give him
a title shot. They had a match and Gillberg
won the title. Not so fast Gillberg, Lex Luger came and beat Gillberg 1-2-3 and
he left the show with his hands
raised and the gold around his waist where it belonged!
·
Inside sources have told me that former WWE superstar Jeff Jarrett has been
arrested for a computer hacking, we have no more information for you as of
press time, but we will update you in the coming weeks.
Next Week's Big Stories on the Gallo Report
· What does the Undertaker smell like?
· What does Haku have stored in his Big Afro?
· Is Jake Roberts in trouble again? O you bet he is and will tell you his embarrassing story next week.
· More on Jarrett's computer hacking scandal
· El Matador exclusive
· This and much more join us here on the Gallo Report every week on the Lex Express 2!
· What does the Undertaker smell like?
· What does Haku have stored in his Big Afro?
· Is Jake Roberts in trouble again? O you bet he is and will tell you his embarrassing story next week.
· More on Jarrett's computer hacking scandal
· El Matador exclusive
· This and much more join us here on the Gallo Report every week on the Lex Express 2!
The Gallo Report 7/23/01
Hello Galloaholics and welcome to a very special WWF/WCW-ECW
Invasion edition of the Gallo Report. For those of you who seen the
pay-per-view do not know some of the stuff that went on behind scenes of Invasion.
We are here to tell you everything you didn¡¦t know about it!
· The
Invasion pay-per-view last night had many shocking moments that will forever be
remembered by pro wrestling fans. Last night we seen 11 match-ups, but the
Gallo Report has news that there was really a 12th match signed to the card.
The 12th match that was supposed to go down last night at Invasion was supposed
to be a 2 on 1 between ECW¡¦s Sabu and WCW¡¦ Lodi vs. WWF¡¦s Linda McMahon in a
flaming table, barbwire bat on a pole, steel cage of death match! The match
sounded very good and the few people that did hear about it were excited to see
the contest, but yet again the WWF had to screw the fans out of what they
really wanted to see and cancelled the match 5 minutes between the Invasion
pay-per-view went on the air. The match was cancelled due to time restrictions
and some fear of Linda McMahon actually dying (literally). The match ideas
haven¡¦t exactly been scrapped yet, you could see this dangerous match as early
as the 7/23 edition of Raw is War or there will be a big feud between the two
sides leading up to a big confrontation at August¡¦s Summerslam. We will keep
you posted.
· Last
Night at Invasion the Gallo Report has learned that the Road Dogg showed up
backstage. You know you might be saying what is so bad about Road Dogg being
backstage? The problem was Road Dogg was stoned while he was back there and he
was shouting a bunch of stuff like he was there to claim his WWF Heavyweight
title, and how he wanted to get in a fistfight with Jacqueline. Luckily old
Vinnie Mac and WWF security were there to put a stop to the unfortunate
incident right away! They rushed back stage and beat road Dogg to a bloody
pulp. In this clip you can hear the sounds of head of WWF security Jim Dotson
telling Road Dogg to get off the property, Vince yelling and screaming at Road
Dogg, and even out of nowhere William Shatner gets involved!
· If
you go to WWF.com and you see the results to Invasion they falsely tell you
that Invasion ended after Shane, Stephanie, Paul Heyman and Stone Cold Steve
Austin all chugged beers. I was there last night in Cleveland to witness the
event as all the other fans left the arena this new regime was still
celebrating in the ring as all of a sudden David Arquette came out of the crowd
with a lead pipe and was accompanied to the ring by Mick Foley. Arquette took
out every last member until it was just he and Booker T in the middle of the
ring, Arquette then nailed Booker with a kick to the head and rammed him with
the pipe and Foley counted the 3 and David Arquette won the WCW title! If you
don¡¦t believe what went down just listen to this clip! As suddenly you will
hear Bobby Heenan and Tony Schaivone (who is supposed to be in jail for killing
Roddy Piper) do commentary.
· And
shockingly again last night after his match and a loss to Kidman X-Pac went
into the WWF bathroom and took a piss!
Well that¡¦s it for this week Galloaholics I hope you
enjoyed this week¡¦s edition of the Gallo report, and next week you get to
enjoy these topics.
· The
official Jake Roberts interview- when I sat down 1-on-1 with Jake and asked him
many questions like why does he do drugs and where¡¦s Damien?
· Where have the Stooges gone?
· Blue Meanie and Road Dogg?
· Where the hell is TL Hopper!
This and much, much more next week on the Gallo Report!
Remember there are a new Gallo Report and Winner of the week every Monday on the one and only thelexexpress.com.
· Where have the Stooges gone?
· Blue Meanie and Road Dogg?
· Where the hell is TL Hopper!
This and much, much more next week on the Gallo Report!
Remember there are a new Gallo Report and Winner of the week every Monday on the one and only thelexexpress.com.
The Gallo Report 7/16/01
We meet again Galloaholics! It is now time for a new weekly
installment of the Gallo Report and I hope you all ready because it¡¦s going to
be a big week. And with WWF/WCW Invasion just around the corner anything can
happen in the world of pro wrestling. So let¡¦s get started once again!
· If
you read last weeks Gallo Report you know that legendary pro wrestler Roddy
Piper was shot and killed by a sniper up in a tree. For a week cops in the area
tried to come to the bottom of this case, and they finally have their man!
Thanks to a lead from Unsolved Mysteries Robert Stack. Stack was around the
area when Piper was shot and killed and he knows exactly who did it! The man
who shot Roddy Piper was none other then WCW former announce man Tony
Schaivone. Tony Schavione held a grudge against piper for many years, and said
he killed Piper because he said he was sick of seeing Piper wear that
ridiculous skirt! They did record this
when Tony Schavione was being carried away in police custody. You can hear the
sound of rioting crowds in the background screaming at Schaivone as they throw
beer bottles, hammers, hot dogs, pieces of metal, and rocks at the head of the
man who killed their hero Roddy ¡§Rowdy¡¨ Piper. Then I sat down with the key
eyewitness Robert Stack he had this
to say about the shooting of Piper. We here at the Gallo Report hope Schaivone
gets what he has coming to him!
· Now
the next story is on a positive note. It seems that the two biggest drug
addicts on the face of the earth have decided to call it quits. Jake Roberts
and Darryl Strawberry have teamed up to launch a national ¡§Don¡¦t Do Drugs
Campaign¡¨ to help younger kids know the understanding of how bad drugs are in
their life. The Anti-drug campaign is going to go into full affect on October
15, 2001 if Jake and Darryl haven¡¦t overdosed yet (just kidding their clean
now.) We talked to Darryl and Jake the other day and asked how the Anti-drug
campaign would work. ¡§ We want to tell kids its wrong and being drug addicts
ourselves we know how to tell them what¡¦s good and bad about dem¡¦ drugs and
we know from experience and we wanna help get 3rd graders hooked on crack,
whoops I mean we wanna help them not get hooked, my bad,¡¨ said Jake Roberts.
¡§It¡¦s a great opportunity for me and Sam hear to get together and help the
kids¡¨, said Strawberry. Even though you have to question Darryl being cleaned
up because he called Jake Roberts Sam. Anyway the motto of their campaign is
¡§Kids don¡¦t do drugs, look at us and we did them and look at us now!
· We
at the Gallo Report have learned that the Undertaker¡¦s music will once again
change. He will soon be involved in a new gimmick. Download the Undertaker¡¦s
new theme that he will probably start using in mid-October here.
· And
last but not least max Mini still smokes crack!!!!!!!!!!
In Next week¡¦s edition
We will tell you all the things you didn¡¦t know from the pay=per-view on Sunday when next week is a very special WWF/WCW Invasion edition of the Gallo report.
We will tell you all the things you didn¡¦t know from the pay=per-view on Sunday when next week is a very special WWF/WCW Invasion edition of the Gallo report.
Remember to read the newest edition of the Gallo report
every Monday on with a new weekly Winner at the one and only LexExpress.com.
The Gallo Report 7/9/01
Views expressed by gallo are not neccessarily those
expressed by everyone else on this website.
Viewer Discresion Is Advised
Viewer Discresion Is Advised
Hello Galloaholics and welcome to an all-new Gallo Report
update here on the one and only TheLexExpress.com. A lot of things happened in
the world of pro wrestling since our meeting last week on July 4th when this
site officially opened. I¡¦ve dug up many juicy things that I get straight from
my sources so I can give to you the wrestling fan. And it tells you everything
good Old¡¦ JR won¡¦t! This week¡¦s Gallo Report will include topics you¡¦ve
never¡Kever heard of before. But sadly this week¡¦s edition will not include
anything about the killer whale, or the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, or
even former U.S. President Ronald Reagan, maybe another time. But enough of me
saying worthless bullcrap lets get to it!
· At
King of the Ring 99¡¦ you may remember in the Main event it was Stone Cold vs.
Vince and Shane for rights to be C.E.O. or something like that. Well anyway it
was a ladder match and whichever side got the briefcase with the papers inside
it won the match. Well if you can remember the McMahon¡¦s won because some
idiot pulled the briefcase up with a rope while Austin was going up to grab it.
For year¡¦s people wondered who did it? And why? Well we at the Gallo Report
know the man who was behind it was none other then George Costanza from
Seinfeld!
· The
next story shows a legend going up in smoke and the embarrassment this event
I¡¦m about to tell you ruined his career and his life forever! Hillbilly Jim
was at the top of his game in the late 80¡¦s to early 90¡¦s when he was one of
the Federations top draws. But last week this all changed for Jim when a
tipster led police to his house in Mudlick, Kentucky and found 5 pounds of
crack in his living room. When police found the drug lord he was laying on his
living room floor with a white substance foaming from the mouth. Apparently he
was so stoned he was doing things so inappropriate to his dog we can¡¦t even
tell you here on the Gallo Report, as he acted out like it was still 1990 and
his dog was the One Man Gang.
· Next
on a sadder note here at the The Lex Express.com we have got note that for the
8th straight summer we will not see a return run for Lex in the Lex Express. I
know if you are reading this you are probably crying right now, but it¡¦s ok,
we also have good news for you! In the year 2003 Lex himself will go on a 10th
Anniversary run in the bus! This tour will be called the ¡§Lex Luger reality
tour¡¨ and he will join Star Wars Mark Hamill and former WCW star Goldberg.
Luger with his new pals will go cross-country in the bus for the second summer
in 10 years and will tour all 48 Continental states (sorry Alaska and Hawaii.)
The tour will be sponsored by Ruffles potato chips and their motto is ¡§Three
Men, One Bus, One Adventure!¡¨ More news will be given as we receive word form
Lex.
· One
more update for this week, is apparent Jr. has taken some shots at this column
because he¡¦s said, as I quote, ¡§ John Gallo is a menace to this business, and
his column sucks!¡¨ I¡¦ve just got one thing to say to you ¡§ You¡¦ve got
something to say to me say it to my face or else keep your trap shut!¡¨
That¡¦s it for this week Galloaholics¡¦ but this is what you
get to look forward to for next week.
· We go inside with former WWF tag-team the Bushwhackers and find out why one had more teeth then the other.
· We find out the real deal behind the death of Yokozuna and let me tell you it and nothing to do with his weight problem.
· Bezerker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
· And finally what ever happened to Mean Street Posse.
· This and much, much more right here next week on the Gallo Report right here on the one and only TheLexExpress.com
· We go inside with former WWF tag-team the Bushwhackers and find out why one had more teeth then the other.
· We find out the real deal behind the death of Yokozuna and let me tell you it and nothing to do with his weight problem.
· Bezerker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
· And finally what ever happened to Mean Street Posse.
· This and much, much more right here next week on the Gallo Report right here on the one and only TheLexExpress.com
Remember fans the Gallo Report is updated every Monday along
with ¡§the Winner of the Week¡¨ so remember to check them out!
The Gallo Report 7/4/01
Views expressed by gallo are not necessarily those
expressed by everyone else on this website.
Viewer Discretion Is Advised
Viewer Discretion Is Advised
Hello Galloaholics this is the Gallo report and I¡¦m back
after being in a coma for 6 straight weeks, but I¡¦m letting you know that I am
all right and I¡¦m ready to give all the news to you the wrestling fans what
the Ross Report won¡¦t tell you! It¡¦s been a look wait but finally you know
what¡¦s coming! The new The Lex Express.com is where all the new Gallo Reports
will be launched so check every Monday for a new weekly installment of the
Gallo Report. I also have added a new segment to the Gallo Report I like to
call ¡§Winner of the Week¡¨, this award is given to who I think was the biggest
winner over the past week in wrestling on shows like Smackdown, Raw, Heat, and
Metal. The wrestlers who win the winner of the week will not only be mentioned
in the weeks column but I will do a nice bio on each individual telling why I
think they deserved this award. Well that¡¦s all I have to say lets get to the
newest Gallo Report entry.
·
It¡¦s very shameful when a pro wrestler gets arrested, ex. (Grandmaster Sexy,
Scott Hall, Road Dogg, and some other low-life scumbags) and they are making
the business look bad! This is what happened to a wrestler you might know from
early 90¡¦s WCW known as Abdullah ¡§The Butcher¡¨ a couple of years ago. You
see Abby was in the ¡§I can count to five¡¨ Deli in Knoxville Tennessee on
April 4, 1995, and he was in there to buy a bag of sour cream and onion chips.
Then Abby snapped he tried to run out of the store with the chips, but when the
owner ran after him to stop him the butcher ¡§butchered¡¨ the owner named Kip
Hipp (interesting name I know). Then Abdullah was put on Death Row and was
sentenced to the death penalty. On June 3, 2001 Abdullah the Butcher was put in
the chair and got death for his crime.
·
Remember Nailz? Sure you do the former prison that went after the Big Bossman
claiming he beat him in his cell the guy who went on to be the infamous
prisoner in WCW, one of only two men who ever hit Vince McMahon (not staged of
course, other being Bret ¡§Shitman¡¨ Fart aka Bret Hart.) You heard this from
the Gallo Report first but Nailz a.k.a Kevin Wascholz has started his own
wrestling promotion and is planning to compete with the WWF and one of the men
he hates Vince McMahon. This new promotion Nailz will start is called F@%# You
Vince McMahon and its name says it all. Even though it appeared Nailz was
wasted when I sat down with an interview with him he said and I quote ¡§My
federation will be better because I¡¦m talented and Vince never gave me my
rightful shot I deserved, plus I am planning on hiring such top wrestling
talent as Road Dogg(see above topic), Greg Valentine, and maybe even Jake the
Snake if he agrees.¡¨ ¡§These guys are legends,¡¨ he yelled in my face.
¡§Better then any other the curtain jerkers that McMahon has got that¡¦s for
sure!¡¨ He ended our interview by passing out on the floor after laughing. The
FYVM is scheduled to begin September 12, 2001 somewhere in Oklahoma so check
local listings for channel and times.
· Its
just a rumor but apparently we at the Gallo Report have gotten word that X-Pac
took a piss at exactly 11:08 am yesterday morning. Yes I know that¡¦s the most
shocking bit of news we¡¦ve ever told you on the Gallo Report, but we just had
to let the secret out!
· We
at the Gallo Report have just learned from our sources that the Main Event at
Wrestlemania 18 is going to be Mike Tyson vs., Sylvester Stallone in a two out
of three falls match for the WWF title. Now we heard the first fall will be a
first in the WWF. The first fall will be a ¡§ Bite my ear match¡¨ and the
winner will have to actually bite the other man¡¦s ear off to win the fall. The
second fall in honor of Rocky will be a Philadelphia Cheese steak eating
contest, and whoever can eat the most wins the fall. If the match isn¡¦t over
by then the third fall will be the Hell in A Cell Match With Don King standing
on top of the cage. This whole confrontation started when Tyson accused
Stallone of being a girly man and said he wasn¡¦t a real fighter and Rocky was
really a no good bum. Stallone took offense to Tyson¡¦s comments and challenged
him to the match.
· I
don¡¦t want to be the man to say this but we here at the Gallo Report have
learned that WWF wrestler Roddy Piper is dead. He was shot and killed by a
sniper a couple of weeks ago. An ongoing investigation still goes on as we try
to find out who killed Roddy Piper?
Well that¡¦s all we have this week Galloaholics, but
remember to tune in next week for the Gallo Report and find out about these
topics:
- We go inside the mind of a clown when we find out how it really feels to be Doink the Clown.
- Much more on Lex Luger and will there be any plans for a return run in the Lex Express this summer?
- It is rumored that TL Hopper has been arrested find out next week here!
- This and much, much more!
So remember to tune into the one and only The Lex Express.com every Monday for a new weekly installment of the Gallo Report.
¡§May the Schwartz be with you¡¨
- We go inside the mind of a clown when we find out how it really feels to be Doink the Clown.
- Much more on Lex Luger and will there be any plans for a return run in the Lex Express this summer?
- It is rumored that TL Hopper has been arrested find out next week here!
- This and much, much more!
So remember to tune into the one and only The Lex Express.com every Monday for a new weekly installment of the Gallo Report.
¡§May the Schwartz be with you¡¨
The Gallo Report 5/14/01
Views expressed by gallo are not necessarily those
expressed by everyone else on this website.
Viewer Discretion Is Advised
Viewer Discretion Is Advised
At last the weekend is over and onto the Gallo Report for
this week. There is much news on the show so lets get right to it!
· Just
Joe ? Why did they sign the man? What was his use? Why did they get rid of him
? The Gallo Report has that answer for you! The bottom line is the reason the
WWF had to release Just Joe was because Just Joe is dead, YES DEAD! At a recent
Smackdown taping Mr. Fugi apparently showed up and out of nowhere Mr. Fuji
"Shot the Messenger!" JUST JOE (2000-2000) R.I.P.
· The
bottom line is there has been some big names at pay per views for refs and
enforcers but in tis year's Summerslam will exceed anyone we've seen in the
past. We've seen such names as Mike Tyson, Chuck Norris, Jesse Ventura and
more. This years mystery ref will most likely ref the title fight that will
probably end up being a "Bad Gimmicks Only 4 corners match between Doink,
Virgil, Repo Man, and Skinner. The special ref in this match at Summerslam will
be none other then Arnold Schwarzenegger!
·
Remember Flash Funk? The Gallo Report sure does! The stupid goofy guy with the
big ears and the big boots and the ridiculous dancing gimmick. Well if your
wondering where Flash went the Gallo Report has a special report for you. Last
week the so called Funk was arrested at a local Chuckie Cheese restaraunt. Now
what Flash did was just out of line! He went to get "funky" in the ball pit and when the manager told him he's was too old, too big, too fat and
that his wrestling gimmick sucked too much for him to be in that ball pit Flash
refused to move he ignored the manager and just kept chanting his theme song at
the gentleman. The proper authorities had to be brought in and Flash still
didn't move. So the cops set in and sprayed Funk with pepper spray and finally
got him out of there. The irony of it all was when Flash got back to his feet
he began to chant I'm a star and how all the little kids at the restaraunt
wanted his autograph, and then he tried to slap a 5 year olds hand until the
kid yelled "hey Flash you suck!" and then he proceeded to stamp on
Funk's foot.
· Now
a lot you WWf fans who have been watching Wrestlemanias for years know that for
the last 3 W-manias Pete Rose has been a fixture at the big show. Pete came,
saw, and got his ass kicked for three straight years until this year when he
obviously wasn't at the Astrodome for Wrestlemania X-seven. I bet you're
wondering where the hell Pete was right? Well the Gallo Report has the answer
for you, Pete Rose was invited but what happened Pete was actually locked in his
bathroom for 47 hours and couldn't get out. Now how do I know this? I'm the man
who let him out.
· The
Pete Rose incident was just one of the many questions left unanswered after
this years classic. Another one was who was the Gobbly Gooker in the gimmick
battle royal? Well I was backstage at the Astrodome and right when the gooker unmasked himself backstage it was none other then the bird man himself Koko B.
Ware. What the hell was Koko doing there? What did he want? Will he ever return
to the WWF? Nobody knows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well that concludes this weeks Gallo Report always remember
tune in for a new edition very Monday and Friday only at www.dxantix.net. Look
forward to this Friday's edition when we will look into these topics and more.
· The
Gallo Report has a special interview with Vince Mcmahon and brings up the topics
of XFL, Joe Cool, and the Bezerker.
· Where do XFL all stars like He Hate Me do with their lives now? I have A a special section devoted to this on Friday.
· Tyson- Stallone Main Event Wrestlemania 18?
· I have a big update on this years King of the Ring of who will where the Kings crown and it will be shocking.
· Where do XFL all stars like He Hate Me do with their lives now? I have A a special section devoted to this on Friday.
· Tyson- Stallone Main Event Wrestlemania 18?
· I have a big update on this years King of the Ring of who will where the Kings crown and it will be shocking.
The Gallo Report 5/11/01
Views expressed by gallo are not necessarily those expressed by everyone else on this website.
Viewer Discretion Is Advised
I know its been a long time since the Gallo Report was
published but fear not it's back, and it's back for good! I know you fans of
this column were very disappointed that I was gone, but I was on business
learning all I need to know so I can report all the up and coming wrestling
news to you the fans. In 6 months there is a lot to tell all you fans of the
Gallo Report. So I will begin right now for our newest Gallo Report that is
about 6 months in the making!!!!!!!!!!!!!
· Now
along the times of the Blue Blazer aka Owen Hart (God Bless His Soul) there was
a blue blazer that was a black man that would come out from time in the
blazer's outfit. Now for many years WWF fans speculated who it was, they asked
was it former M.O.M member Mo, or maybe it was Koko B. Ware? Well Right here
the Gallo Report has that answer for you the black Blue Blazer was in fact none
other then the J-E-L-L-O man himself BILL COSBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
· Now
you maybe wondering where old Million Dollar Man has been I know I have! Well
from the Gallo Report only you now know that Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase now
works at Walmart! Yes WalMart! I actually went to his counter the other day
that to pay for a new shirt and there he was and I caught up with Ted and asked
him the price of my shirt and this is what he said.
· Now
all you fans of the current WWF know that Kaientai is now involved in a gimmick
when there talking their not really talking its somebody elses voices. Well I
bet you would like to see who it is! Well the Gallo Report has it for you
straight and simple! The two voices and there are 2 are none other then our old
pal Jake Roberts and WCW's very own Harley Race.I caught up recently with the
two gentleman at a recent Smackdown taping. Here is what they told me.
Well that concludes this weeks Gallo Report boys and girls
but tune in on Monday for the latest issue.
When you will hear about this.
· What is in Tiger Ali Singh's turban and what does he do it with it?
· Why does Marc Mero have a strange fascination with Cheese.
· Who really was this years Wrestlemania Gooker?
· And plus Why was Pete Rose not invited to this years Wrestlemania we have the scoop!
· This and more read the Gallo Report at www.dxantix.net every Monday and Friday!
When you will hear about this.
· What is in Tiger Ali Singh's turban and what does he do it with it?
· Why does Marc Mero have a strange fascination with Cheese.
· Who really was this years Wrestlemania Gooker?
· And plus Why was Pete Rose not invited to this years Wrestlemania we have the scoop!
· This and more read the Gallo Report at www.dxantix.net every Monday and Friday!
Gallo Not Only Speaks His Mind But Gives You (fake)
Rumors
Views expressed by gallo are not necessarily those expressed by everyone else on this website.
Viewer Discretion Is Advised
Views expressed by gallo are not necessarily those expressed by everyone else on this website.
Viewer Discretion Is Advised
November 27, 2000
Hello welcome to another segment of Gallo speaks his mind
today I'd like to touch on a topic of what my man Rikishi was talking about of
why he help hit Austin. Allllllll those Hawaiian guys were always held back
because their Hawaian. My first proposition is a man by the name of SUPERFLY
JIMMY SNUKA who never got his shot at the belt and you wanna know where he is
now rotting in a jail cell for life for shooting his ex wife. the end
November 17, 2000
- Gallo speaks his mind- Trish is hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Naked Mideon is not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THANK YOU I"VE SPOKEN MY MIND
Gallos(fake)Rumors
I have many rumors for you the people.
- I would like to start out by saying I'm not Giant Gonzales!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Thank You!!!!!!!!!!
- Now moving on there is a big rumor that The Rock wears pink underwear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Max Mini smokes reefer
- Update- Kane Unmasked it is actually none other than Oprah Winfrey
- Golga, Doink, and the texas tornado(who i might add is not dead) live in a Winnebago together...
- Luckily in a local Denny's emt's rushed to the scene as max moon was choking on all star breakfast
- Issac yankeem kill yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!