Howdy all my name's Dan Moore and I write about movies,
booze & bars on www.enuffa.com. I found Bum Wine Bob on the Twitter machine
and here's a little something I wrote for his enjoyably boozy site, hope you
enjoy.
There are many appropriate and inappropriate places to drink
down a bottle or six of Mad Dog. Hell, I’ve drank them all over this beautiful
country. But in my experience, there are certain places that are better to
consume Mad Dog than others. So here we go with a few spots I find to be the
best to buy a few bottles and take em right to your liver.
Sporting Venue
A no brainer. With the insane and always increasing prices
of alcohol at stadiums around the globe, sneaking in a bottle of MD 20/20 is as
common sense as buying a foam finger to hide it in. As a bonus, you can match
up your booze choice with the color of your team. A delicious bottle of Dragon
Fruit for the Red Sox? DON’T MIND IF I DO! (sorry for Yankee fans…what would
pinstripes taste like?).
Job Interview
Need to take an edge off before your morning meet up with
your potential new boss? Grab a bottle of Orange Jubilee for a bit o’ breakfast
pleasure. It’ll help you feel looser and answer those tough questions more
honestly (“my major weakness? I’m not drunk enough”). And once you do nail that
job down, you can celebrate with your supervisor and a delicious sugary boozy
beverage! It’s a win-win
Funeral
This one’s pretty obvious. You’re drowning in grief so drown
yourself even more in a delicious fluorescent wine. I would recommend this for
a funeral of a person you dislike, however. Get a bottle & a half in ya and
then tell Uncle Joe what you really think about his cheap, miserly ways. What a
prick. All I wanted was a bike, Joe…JUST A BIKE!!!!
Road Trip
Actually…don’t do this one.
The Bar
Yea, why the hell not? Save yourself a few bucks and suck
down some green dreamy drinks while pretending to be a paying customer the
whole time. You’re very close to being a bum at this point. In fact, it leads nicely
into…
The Alley
There’s a reason it’s called bum wine. The bums drink it.
And where is the bum palace? The alley ways of Anytown, USA. Drink down a
coupla bottles with Hobo Jack, Stinky Pete and the boys. Become a member of
their hall of fame by showering in the gutter like they do. And make friends
for life by selling your shoes for some illegal drugs. There’s no closer
friends than homeless friends (mainly because to stay warm at night, you need
to stay real close to each other on those subway vents).
Thanks for reading & drop me a line on Twitter
@SouthieDanimal
The funeral idea is genius!
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