The Krude Experience - 5/4/15

Scents and Sense

I often wonder how people who make a lot of $ (professional types) can have no common sense about their own foul personal hygiene.

I take a public transportation bus everyday to Manhattan for work. The bus is always packed to capacity with well dressed commuters. I always hope for a hot chick to sit next to me. Not for the obvious pervy reasons,but for the fact they often smell very nice. Perfume,skin cream, whatever. It's all good.

But when a dude sits next to me,chances are the air around him will soon turn to green. Bad breath,body odor,Ben Gay. It's all bad. 45 minutes worth of bus ride bad. I take every precaution not to give off a negative scent when traveling on a bus. It's just common courtesy. But how is it that somebody could not brush their teeth or use a breath mint in the morning?

Do the math:

Toothpaste: $3

Breath mints: $1.50

Aqua Velva : $4

Deodorant soap: $2.50

A small price for a Bergen County-ite dude to pay to not reek. I hope their foulness costs them steady blowjobs from their broads (or male lovers).

Now to the real gist of this topic:

The scent of booze on somebody.

We've all been down that road. Many times. No shame in that.

It oozes out of your skin. It crawls out of your belly all the way up to your mouth. Or it is soaked into your leather jacket after a tough night in the mosh pit at a Slayer gig.

The scent of booze on somebody can be a badge of honor. More often or not,it is the mark of a marked man (or woman). We go to great lengths to  not be 'outed' as being on the hooch.

Try telling a cop you're not drunk with booze scent on you

Try telling your chick you weren't drinking while watching the fight with your buddies

Try going to work while being buzzed from the night before

All of the above can land you in a world of shit. Which stinks. Bad pun intended.

The Krude way of dealing with unwanted body booze scent involves a wicked mix of ginger lozenges, clove oil and Drakkar Noir cologne.

Ginger for the breath (and possible stomach issues). Clove oil cuz it's scent is potent (and can be used as an insect repellent or antiseptic).

And good ol' Drakkar Noir cologne just to keep people away from you. And maybe score a chick who is still into that man splash crap. Drakkar loving chicks do exist. I've done the field research. Total shame in that.

So here's to a hot,soapy shower and a mouthful of Listerine. Krude will love ya for it

Slainte Mhath

KK

@kapn_krude