The Krude Experience - 9/14/15

Krude At The Movies

Whenever I create an online dating bio,I always include the fact that I'm a movie buff. A 'B' movie buff. Porn movie buff. TV movie buff. Straight to DVD movie buff. Though this knowledge entering a potential sex partners head may play against me getting laid.It is truth. I'm a movie nerd. And proud of it.

I went to see a 'chick flick' called Train Wreck with my usual blonde squeeze a few weeks ago. I had nothing better to do and she gave great head the night before. All I knew about this movie was it starred Amy Schumer,a good comic. What I didn't know about this movie was it contained the big screen debut of wrestler John Cena's naked ass. Seeing man ass in a movie doesn't make a Krude happy. Being at a chick flick isn't much better. The extra buttery popcorn,cherry Icee,and Milk Duds kinda saved the day. But not quite. 

So here is a list of Krude approved movies. The kind of stuff that if your chick watches these flicks with you,she's a keeper. Hit the lights. Shut up. Let's go

Dirty Mary Crazy Larry
Classic car chase flick from the 1970's with muscle cars,bank robbery,and Vic Morrow. Peter Fonda and a tight assed,toothy Susan George bicker throughout the entire movie,while driving at 110 MPH for real. One of the most quotable pictures of all time. Turn it up loud when watching.The cars ROAR in 5.1.

Johnny Dangerously
Michael Keaton's finest moment in film. A goofy gangster comedy set in the 1920's. Noteworthy for having Peter Boyle,Danny Devito,Joe Piscopo and Marilu Henner in its cast. And Richard Dimitri as Roman Morronie. Dimitri steals this movie with his butchering of common curse words. Watch this movie buzzed,you fargin icehole.

She Devils on Wheels
Director Herschell Gordon Lewis is the king of low budget,highly entertaining B movies. I chose this HGL flick because it is about a female biker gang in Florida circa 1968. The girl bikers in the movie are real gang members. A few of them truly fuckable. And the orgy scene has everybody humping while fully clothed. They are Man-Eaters on Motorbikes. So get off the road.

The 40 Year Old Virgin
My favorite movie from the past 10 years. Steve Carell makes an unbelievable premise seem real. And funny. Excellent cast (including Kevin Hart in a memorable small role). No need for a sequel here. Will still be funny 20 years from now.

The China Cat
Had to put a porn pick in this blog as well. Using a John Holmes aka Johnny Wadd porno makes sense. This is an actual movie.Shot on film.With a script. It's a take off of the 1970's tv show Charlies Angels. Except that Holmes,who plays a private detective named Johnny Wadd,fucks all the Angels.All in the name of a jade cat statue. A golden age of porn classic. Don't run when you the see the pubes. It's was the 70's dammit.

Thanks for reading the blog,you sneaky bastages.



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