The Krude Experience - 11/30/15

Breaking The Law

I was watching VH1 Classic recently and saw the super lame video by Judas Priest for their most awesome tune Breaking The Law. Then the squeaky wheels in the Krude Kranium started to spin. People breaking written (and unwritten) laws is more prevalent than you would think. In fact, the more I pay attention to society in general,the more I think that most of us are on the fast track to eternal Hell due to our larcenous tendencies. And not just for pervy reasons. Unless you live in Qatar.

I've been guilty (yet never stopped) of being loaded behind the wheel of a car. Not proud of that. But truth is truth. I live about 5 miles from Met Life Stadium in NJ.On any given game or concert day,there will be an additional 10-20,000 extra cars on the roads in my area. And after a game or gig,I would wager half of those drivers have at least a buzz on. That's a given. And the cops know it.

Krude tip: if a cop pulls you over for DUI,request a blood test. Never consent to any breath test. Extra time to dry out is a good thing.

You would be hard pressed to find somebody who doesn't have some sort of illegal drug on or in them. And if the drug isn't in their possession at that time,and they deny using,threaten to subject them to a hair drug test. I'm sure they will dummy up real quick.I lived in Las Vegas,NV about 15 years ago. To get any job in that town,you had to pass a hair drug test. Luckily,I'm not an illegal drug user. But I've never known anybody who ever beat a hair test. Too many people in denial. Too many dealers making more $ than I do in a week.Sonny was and will always be right: Workin' mans a sucka.

Internet thievery is probably the most common crime that common people commit. Sharing music files. Downloading porn scenes. Or for the most cunning crook: identity theft. I remember downloading a Fugs tune from Napster back in 2000. Using a dial up modem. It took around 5 hours to steal one 3 minute tune. Then Lars (Multi-Millionaire) from Metallica starting ratting on his own fans for stealing (sharing) his music. A Danish midget with sophomoric drumming skills wanted to put YOU in jail. Rock n roll Metallica ain't. They should rename themselves 'The Man'.

I am the product of a felonious father. I've known more about illegal than legal since an early age. The bottom line to any illegal activity usually begins with the Almighty Dollar. From there,it is better to be considered a 'white collar' criminal than 'blue collar'. Or just be an eloquent conversationalist. And at least act a little bit remorseful when the law bites your ass (and you're guilty as charged). Chivalry and a pair of nerdy glasses can go a long way in swaying a jury's opinion of you. Now raise your right hand...

May the farce be with you



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