The Krude Experience - Gambling


'Action' is the only true operative word in the Krude vernacular. And 'Fuck' is a close second to that. I cannot imagine living another day without one of those two words being part of it.

Casino gambling is fucking action.

I remember playing a board game called Gambler when I was a kid in the 1970's. I don't remember much about the game play itself.But I remember my distinct desire to go to a casino and try my luck after playing it. I would eventually get my chance to gamble in a Atlantic City casino when I was 19. I was underage,but I didn't care. Nobody gets hassled at a casino when $ starts to get spread around. And the locals get treated (greased) properly. Take note kiddies.

So here is the Krude Gambling Manifesto abr. 25 years is the making. For entertainment purposes only.  

I've always gotten a bad feeling sitting at a blackjack table with an Asian or Eastern Indian dealer. I always try choose a White,Black or Hispanic dealer. Call it superstition or whatever. But certain dealers are hired by casinos just for the negative karma they exude. Learn to spot those markers. And always hit on 17 when the dealer shows a face. Old pro types sitting at the table will respect you.

Casinos will give you free alcohol,if you're playing (gambling) a game. That's a given. Before I start gambling any $,I track down the cocktail waitress and place my order. I always order two drinks and tip the broad at least a red ($5) chip.And I ask for any kind of Jack Daniels drink. This is because most casinos use the worst booze with their 'comp' drinks. Jack is popular and has a distinctive taste. No fooling the regulars,so the casino's stock it.But if you want wine or something with vodka- beware. I've tasted better bum wine than the well shit a casino will serve you for free.

Craps.The best game is the casino. And the best named game. Craps is all about odds and percentages. And luck. The odds in craps will determine your winning from losing.For example,place a bet on a '10' to win 9/5 odds. Add to that the casino's pass line odds (usually 2X or 3X). With a solid system you can walk away from the craps table a winner,more often than not. Rolling dice is fun. The craps table is where the most $ is made and the whole table is in on it together. Craps will take a few trips to a casino to get the hang of. And when you do,it'll be your go-to game.

Get to know the pit boss by a first name basis.That's the Italian suit wearing person shuffling around behind the table dealers.He or she watches your gambling tendencies and determines how much of a gambling degenerate you are. Your next room comp or free buffet dinner is riding on this weird relationship. Pit bosses are degenerates themselves. Just learn to have some laughs with them. It'll pay off,even when you lose $.

Never chase your $. Or,never chase after your losses. If you lose a bunch of dough,try not to double up your future bets to make up for the losses. Your rent or mortgage is more important than the casino adding that new poker room on your dime. If I bring $1k to gamble with,that is all I'm using. If I lose,i lose $1k. No trips to ATM or pawn shop. Though I usually bring something worth $50 to a pawn broker in case I go belly up. $50 gets you a Big Mac and a way home.

Etc. Etc. Etc.

I don't wholly recommend casino gambling for everybody. Just to adrenaline junkies with balls and means. If you ain't taking risks,you ain't living life. You're just existing. And boring. Just never bet on a 3 legged horse.

Don't burn the locals



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