The Krude Experience - 5/30/16

Hot n' Sticky 

With summertime quickly thrusting itself towards my Western Hemisphere living ass,Krude has a few summer season observations to share with the bum wino crew. So Deet up,unscrew the twist cap,and read on.   

Songs about summer almost always suck. Except for Summer Breeze by Seals and Crofts and most Brian Wilson music gems. Summer songs these days are usually written by pop country songwriters to fluff up a marginally talented country singers' album for maximum unit shifting. Yawn.

Summer is the best season for sex. Just is. Prove me wrong.

Why must guys wear any kind of open toe shoe or sandal in public places? Yes,it is hot outside. But I can't stand dudes that walk into a restaurant with their hairy toes and gnarly long nails for the world to see. And what kind of asshole wears flip flops while driving a car? 

Women wear less during the summer. Easier to spot those Aztec sun tattoos just above her asscrack. Or the little flower tat on her shoulder. Bra-less is always a welcome look in a Krude world. As is a quality side-boob sighting.

Always good to know where your local dry ice supplier is during the hot months. If bad weather knocks out power and you don't have a generator,dry ice is the way to go to chill your hooch. Just don't over chill your beer with the dry ice. You've been warned.

I still get excited when a Bass Pro Shops or BJ Alan fireworks catalog comes in the mail this time of year. Tracking down a real M80 firecracker is always a summertime challenge. Big boom = happy Krude.

Cremo has a new SPF20 after shave face cream for men. Unscented and works great. Sun damage looks good on nobody.

The boys of summer. At work. The Red versus the Blue. A man named Odor throwing a sweet right in plain sight. Ty Cobb is smiling down at this.

NFL football is right around the corner. Please meet Khalil Mack LB and Derek Carr QB of the Oakland Raiders. These two guys will be the thorn in your teams' collective asses for years to come.

Drink plenty of clean water and check the ID of every chick you buy a drink for. Summertime is not the time for a jail stint for statutory rape. Mahalo.




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