The Krude Experience - 12/19/16

Ex's and Sex 

I wouldn't call myself Kapn Krude if I didn't live up to that name at least once in a while. It's always a weird time when an ex girlfriend (or temporary aquaintance) phones me from out of nowhere. My Krude wheels spin. And I start thinking of ways to fulfill my wanton needs.  

The questions I ask are:

What kind of booze does she like?
Where is the closest bar or liquor store to her apartment?
Is it worth taking her to dinner?

Damn. I'm a sleazebag. But a successful sleazebag. Just like my ability to close contracts at work in short order,I close unwritten contracts with women in shorter order. Ha!

Being a braggart comes with the Krude turf. If I got it,I flaunt it. No harm. No foul. Just strong words and attitude.

Having sex with an ex is always a dicey proposition. The big upside is the familiarity. The bigger downside is the familiarity. That's where the booze comes in. Better to be sauced than sober when a chick comes a knockin' for second helpings of sweet love.

Then there's the rubber issue. Maybe the last 100 times you fucked this chick you went bareback. But now,after a few years,can you take that bareback risk? Much like I've been with numerous skirts,she has probably sucked off almost as many dudes in that time span. Truth hurts. But the clap hurts worse.

I guess the winter holidays stir up feelings inside a girl to make her want to hook up with an ex bf. I'm just a willing and able mark with a vast imagination. Call me. I'm yours. At least for tonight.

Danke Schoen



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