Krude Summer Concert Guide 2017
It is almost that time again. No,not your old lady's time of
the month.Summer is getting near and Krude is getting ready for a hot,sticky season
of booze,broads,bbq,and live music-four of my favorite things. So grease up
your debit card and prepare to dip your chip into world of bank account
draining summer entertainment. Zantac optional.
What really gets to me every summer is the way bands package
the gigs so that they can ensure packed houses while charging premium prices
for tickets and t shirts. For instance,Def Leppard is touring with Poison and
Tesla. Now ordinarily,none of those bands could fill a concert shed (outdoor
venue) on their own. Put them together on same bill,and sold out shows
everywhere. And high average ticket prices for the fans. That's how these old
time bands pay their bills these days. But for the fans of just one of those
bands,the problem is the reduced set times. If Bret Michaels rocks your
world,I'm sorry but Poison only gets 70 minutes of stage time opening for
Leppard. That's not nearly enough Bret for the average Poison fan. But that is
how most big summer tours are operating. Summer bummer. Thanks Live Nation.
Not.
Krude doesn't often go to a gig that has 3 headliner bands
at reduced set times. I like shows that have no opening act and band play their
balls and/or ovaries off for 2 hours of more. Ween(balls)
is a prime example of this.
U2 is celebrating 30
years of The Joshua Tree album with a summer stadium tour. Avoid these greedy
musical hacks at all costs. They suck. And have sucked hard since 1984.
Florida Georgia Line will be
coming to a shed near you this summer. FGL is just a bumpkin version of
Nickelback,who just smile more. Krude would only go to this gig for the
plethora of chicks. I would wear industrial ear plugs and bring 12 rubbers with
me. And hopefully I could sneak in some whiskey as well. FGL are lame,but
chicks dig it. Mahalo.
Phish is a band for trust
fund babies that grow up to be 'wooks' and follow Phish from gig to gig.All the
while selling drugs or grilled cheese sandwiches in the parking lot of Phish
gigs to get tix to next show. Phish is not a Krude favorite at all.But they do
have a cool light show and plenty of trippy,hippy,patchouli chicks attending
their shows. And they can really PLAY. Unlike U2.
Lady Gaga is on the road
this summer. Regardless of personal musical preferences,this tour is tops in
Krude's book to witness. Gaga is the real deal. Musical and entertaining. She
killed it at Super Bowl halftime. Without Prince (sobs) being around,Gaga now
wears the American musical crown. Save up yer sheckles and go. And have the
time of your life.
The Field:
Guns N' Roses- maybe
Kings of Leon- never
Metallica- only if Lars spontaneously
combusts on his drumstool every night
Deep Purple/Alice Cooper- yes
Ed Sheeran- who?
Luke Bryan- better than Toby Keith
Dave Matthews Band- if you are
white,affluent,and like to party safely,you already bought tickets to DMB
Any original music band that plays
a nearby club and charges less than $20 a ticket- YES
Enjoy your summer. Don't call
Krude for bail $. I have a new chick that gets the other half of my paycheck.
Grillin' and chillin'
KK
@kapn_krude
Tags:
krude experience