I took my first edible this morning. 2:47 a.m exactly. I wrote down the time for the purpose of this column. You see, I don't usually dive into the drugs, as my addictive personality would end up blowing dudes for cocaine at the end of this story.
But I've always wondered about edibles. You watch Joe Rogan and his buddy Joey Diaz is always talking about passing out on the floor from eating edibles and mother fucker that sounds like a fun time to me.
So i purchased a chocolate chip peanut butter cookie with the intent to re-watch "Once Upon A Time In Hollywood,". Which, i did begin to do - and as I watch, my mind started to melt away a little bit every scene and my arms became very light, and this comforting guidance came over me.
Did i mention my arms became light? I needed to write ... so at some point in the movie, i floated towards my computer and wrote this poem, which is a little bit about me and a little bit about the desires in a person's soul to feel some kind of fucking love.
i chase my addictions
every night like
a pussy that's never
been fucked
craving shit that was
supposed to make you
feel like
you were loved
constant conversation that
blends till the end of the night,
last call
i guess i'm gonna love you,
tonight
Somehow i ended up in my bedroom, listening to XMSirius's Old Time Radio station, which showcased a myriad of great shows from radio's past, headlined by some Dick Tracy mystery shit - gunshots were wild in my head, bouncing around lingering for minutes at a time. I felt like I needed to buy a horse for this pandemic war we're about to embark on.
I used to take a lot of NyQuil for these same shows. NyQuil worked great, but left me so fucking drowsy for so long - and i didn't get the comfort that i got from Weed Cookie. I just went out. Coma'd. And while sometimes you need that coma, it's not as fun to be knocked out as it is to listen to cowboys talk about rasslin' up some herd at 5:30 a.m as the birds begin to chirp and the sun's about to kiss the earths poisoned skin once more.
For a little bit I forgot that we've been quarantined for 45 days. Just typing that feels weird. I don't know why. I've been self quarantining for the last three years, having fallen out of love with society and it's selfishness.
Unlike beer, Weed Cookie didn't make me piss every hour on the bottle, but the gas and shit effect hit around 10 a.m. My digestive system isn't really happy with me as this ride is slowing down.
It was probably the bacon jerky, Weed Cookie would never hurt me.