On Friday I went to the mailbox expecting my fifth absentee ballot packet, maybe a bill or two and a pizza ad that I cannot use. What I didn't expect was a box from my old stomping grounds of Decatur, Illinois sitting on my badly needing painted porch.
It was from my ol' buddy whom I've actually never met in real life but count on my hand as one of the few friends I have left on this earth, The Reel Geno.
What did this dude send me now? In the past, he's sent me wrestling dvd's (That I have yet to watch, because ... it's 2020 and finding a working DVD player is harder that it ever should be), wrestling figures, posters, and ramen.
Yes, ramen.
This time, he sent me these:
Yes, Planters flavored peanuts. Flavored with Natty Light. You read that right. Natty Light.
Now, here at the bWb, we not only strive to drink the cheapest of beers, it's actually in our job description. I once saw Bob walk a dude out of the office after he brought in a Michelob. "If it takes you five minutes to open the beer, we don't drink it," Bob yelled, as he kicked the young man's ass on the way out.
I had my doubts about these peanuts when I saw them. How were they going to be flavored with Natty Light, i asked myself in the mirror, while not shaving.
Because I'm a man.
As i opened the can of nuts, a familiar smell escaped the cannister. And in that second i was teleported to The Lone Oak tavern - the best wings in Decatur, the hottest bartender in the game and lots of cheap beer for the working man. I had the urge to walk to the juke box and throw on some Toby Keith.
What I'm saying is - I could smell the Natty Light smell. But what did it taste like, Dennis?
Well, it's coated with something far to sweet to be the flavor of Natty Light. Though, somehow, i do detect the subtle hints of grain, almost a Saturday morning cereal flavor due to the sweet notes.
While it doesn't taste like beer - it does mock your senses a little bit into thinking you taste the beer; or maybe it's the beer i was drinking with the .. fuck.
This review has been compromised.
3.2 out of 5.