Krüde New Year 2023 Predictions

 Krüde New Year 2023 Predictions

Greetings y’all! Old man Krüde is back with his bold, semi educated predictions for the newest of years: 2023 A.D.. It takes a wily eye and fertile imagination to channel my inner Nostradamus. And a bit of good ‘ole Kentucky made bourbon. Let’s fly!!!

1.       All new fast food restaurants will be required by law to be painted primer grey

2.       Sports gambling on cell phone apps will now be mandatory upon turning 13 years old

3.       Macaroni and cheese from a box will be known as its own food group

4.       Air will no longer be free. A tax to breathe will be instituted

5.       A new fortified breakfast cereal will contain caffeine and Xanax and be called Super Sugar Speed Ball Crisp

6.       Dick Cheney will stay the course

7.       Door Dash will expand their culinary based horizons to include optional cigarettes and over the counter dick pills to their orders

8.       Mr. Peanut from Planters will regain control of Planters Cheez balls from Kraft foods and make them awesome again

9.       Using a cell phone while driving will be punishable by crippling fines and time in the town stocks

10.   El Chapo is plotting his escape from a supermax prison

So there are my predictions. For entertainment purposes only. You dumbass. Cheers!

Happy 2023!!!


@kapn_krude – Twitter

@krude_kapn – IG

Post a Comment

Previous Post Next Post