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Wednesday, December 9, 2015

5 Reasons to Drink Your Face Off This Holiday Season


5 Reasons to Drink Your Face Off This Holiday Season

The specialists at winegifted.com often spend minutes to almost an hour researching human behavior as it relates to drinking. We’ve decided to donate some of our groundbreaking “science” to Bum Wine Bob this year. Here are good reasons to tip back a few this holiday season.

1. ‘Tis the Season to be Broke as Hell



More than likely, you are barely making it throughout the year. You’re probably paying an astronomical rent or mortgage. Maybe you racked up some hefty doctor bills for you and/or your children. Well, guess what? During the Holiday, no one cares about this. You will be expected to spend upwards of $75,000 on gifts and/or Christmas cards for your friends or family. If you don’t do this, you will be seen as a terrible person. You should probably expect to work 4 jobs next year.

2. You’re Coming Up on the One Time You See Your Whole Family All Year


The Holiday season is probably the only time you see your extended family. This means you are going to have to spend hours trying to put together some kind of elaborate story about all the wonderful things you’ve done over the past year. Why? Let’s face it, your family is constantly judging you, and nothing would entertain them more than finding out your business idea fell through, or you got fat, or you went to prison for arson.

3. Christmas Music



I’m willing the bet that they first time you heard that Mariah Carey song All I Want For Christmas Is You, you probably thought, “hmm, this is kind of catchy.” I bet you didn’t know that 25 years later, you would be hearing it every November and December, every day, every 30 seconds. I’m fairly certain that drinking is the only thing that will  keep you from killing yourself because of hearing this song over and over, as well as the other 4 Christmas songs played on the radio and TV.

4. Christmas TV Specials



Speaking of the TV, the Holiday season also brings us the airing of some of our favorite Christmas movies. Unfortunately, every Holiday season also historically brings us the worst Christmas specials ever. For an entire month, our regularly scheduled programs are interrupted by the lame attempts of the networks to come up with the next Christmas classic. About 99% of these specials end up making your eyes bleed. Don’t believe me? Google “Larry the Cable Guy’s Christmas Spectacular”. You could probably drink booze and watch some paint dry to be more entertained.

5. You’ll Have to Make That New Year’s Resolution Soon



December means the New Year is upon us. Some time ago, someone terrible invented the New Year’s resolution thing where you have to better yourself somehow by doing something funless or giving something fun up. 97% of us will say we are going to exercise more and/or drink less. December gives you 31 days to pack in as much debauchery as possible before your life is over. Enjoy it.

Happy Holidays, everyone. Give us a follow on Twitter (@winegifted) or Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/winegiftedwinelovers) if you would like.

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