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Monday, April 24, 2017

The Krude Experience - Summer Concert Guide 2017


Krude Summer Concert Guide 2017

It is almost that time again. No,not your old lady's time of the month.Summer is getting near and Krude is getting ready for a hot,sticky season of booze,broads,bbq,and live music-four of my favorite things. So grease up your debit card and prepare to dip your chip into world of bank account draining summer entertainment. Zantac optional.


What really gets to me every summer is the way bands package the gigs so that they can ensure packed houses while charging premium prices for tickets and t shirts. For instance,Def Leppard is touring with Poison and Tesla. Now ordinarily,none of those bands could fill a concert shed (outdoor venue) on their own. Put them together on same bill,and sold out shows everywhere. And high average ticket prices for the fans. That's how these old time bands pay their bills these days. But for the fans of just one of those bands,the problem is the reduced set times. If Bret Michaels rocks your world,I'm sorry but Poison only gets 70 minutes of stage time opening for Leppard. That's not nearly enough Bret for the average Poison fan. But that is how most big summer tours are operating. Summer bummer. Thanks Live Nation. Not.

Krude doesn't often go to a gig that has 3 headliner bands at reduced set times. I like shows that have no opening act and band play their balls and/or ovaries off for 2 hours of more. Ween(balls) is a prime example of this.

U2 is celebrating 30 years of The Joshua Tree album with a summer stadium tour. Avoid these greedy musical hacks at all costs. They suck. And have sucked hard since 1984.

Florida Georgia Line will be coming to a shed near you this summer. FGL is just a bumpkin version of Nickelback,who just smile more. Krude would only go to this gig for the plethora of chicks. I would wear industrial ear plugs and bring 12 rubbers with me. And hopefully I could sneak in some whiskey as well. FGL are lame,but chicks dig it. Mahalo.

Phish is a band for trust fund babies that grow up to be 'wooks' and follow Phish from gig to gig.All the while selling drugs or grilled cheese sandwiches in the parking lot of Phish gigs to get tix to next show. Phish is not a Krude favorite at all.But they do have a cool light show and plenty of trippy,hippy,patchouli chicks attending their shows. And they can really PLAY. Unlike U2.

Lady Gaga is on the road this summer. Regardless of personal musical preferences,this tour is tops in Krude's book to witness. Gaga is the real deal. Musical and entertaining. She killed it at Super Bowl halftime. Without Prince (sobs) being around,Gaga now wears the American musical crown. Save up yer sheckles and go. And have the time of your life.

The Field:

Guns N' Roses- maybe
Kings of Leon- never
Metallica- only if Lars spontaneously combusts on his drumstool every night
Deep Purple/Alice Cooper- yes
Ed Sheeran- who?
Luke Bryan- better than Toby Keith
Dave Matthews Band- if you are white,affluent,and like to party safely,you already bought tickets to DMB

Any original music band that plays a nearby club and charges less than $20 a ticket- YES

Enjoy your summer. Don't call Krude for bail $. I have a new chick that gets the other half of my paycheck.

Grillin' and chillin'

KK
@kapn_krude

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