Kandy Ass Krude
Krude in a self depreciating mood as of late. Calling myself
a Kandy Ass is just stating a singular fact: I'm addicted to sweets. I'm sure
there is a therapist who could treat my affliction (for $300/hr). But I'm only
gonna live once. And I love me some candy. And cake. And pies. And pussy. Word.
Giving my take on quality sweets should NOT be taken with a
grain of salt. I know my desserts. I don't fuck around when it comes to choosing
my sugary discourses. So take notice:
American chocolate makers generally suck.Hershey,Mars,Nestle
etc.. are just confectionery hacks. European chocolate is the way to go.Or
Jacques Torres chocolates from NYC. Too bad Nestlé had to buy out Milka. Milka
chocolate was the bomb.Kinda a ghetto brand in Europe.But tasted great to my
American taste buds. Fuck everything Nestlé. They can suck a massive dick. For
obvious reasons.
Ice cream is also a Krude favorite. Only with Comet cones.
Turkey Hill Mint Chocolate chip is awesome. As is anything Ben and Jerry's.
Edy's,Breyers,Friendlys,and the field are generally weak. Magnum ice cream bars
are all things excellent. For local ice cream makers,Manning's in Pennsylvania
is great. When I lived in PA, Manning's (no relation) was my go to ice cream.
Nothing else came close.
I used to work next door to a Maison Kayser French bakery in
NYC. Holy shit. That place was unreal. I think I tried every item they sold
over the course of a year. Everything they sold was aces. I even got the
gnarliest workmen I managed at the time to get their pastries and lunch there.
It was like legal crack. Served by people wearing berets and striped shirts. I
miss that place. Don't miss the job at all.
It is weird that I'm not even remotely overweight. I eat
lots of fatty dessert items,yet still stay the same lean shape. I guess it's
genetics. Or its the fact that I never over eat at anytime. I like my sweets.
But I never overdo it. Just like booze. I never lose total control by drinking
too much.
Something about the original Willy Wonka movie starring Gene
Wilder that stirs 'ol Krude into a mental frenzy. The outdated special effects
and hokey songs notwithstanding,the movie is a lesson in self restraint. Too
bad I can't restrain myself from playing Willy Wonka slot machines in Atlantic
City. Love those machines. Mahalo.
Eating Fun Dip sticks for breakfast,
KK
@kapn_krude
Tags:
krude experience