Dan's MD 20/20 Adventures - 3/25/15

Howdy all my name's Dan Moore and I write about movies, booze & bars on www.enuffa.com. I found Bum Wine Bob on the Twitter machine and here's a little something I wrote for his enjoyably boozy site, hope you enjoy. 

Mad Dog 20/20 is a name synonymous with cheapo booze. It's a punchline to many a joke and a dietary staple to many a hobo. My first foray with the ultra violet colored liquid is a story I'm sure is quite similar to many others losing their MD virginity.

I was in high school in Boston. I had a few friends that lived in Revere, a town north of Boston. My buddy Paul let a coupla of us know his parents would be outta town one Friday. Paul was a shy, quiet kid, so this was no huge party he was planning. Just a coupla friends over his house. He let us know his sisters boyfriend would buy us some booze but not a ton of beers. He was adamant about us not making a mess with 75 aluminum cans bumping all over the place. So I was screwed. I was a beer drinker from South Boston. No clue what else I would drink. They all told me they were drinking Mad Dog and hell, that sounded manly enough,  GET ME TWO!!

This was back in the high potency days of MD, 18% volume by alcohol. The glory days, as it were.  I had no clue what I was in for. I ended up with a bottle of the hyper green Kiwi Lemon (delightful!) & Banana Red (God awful). The Kiwi was so goddamn delicious. It was like alcoholic kool aid. I remember thinking 'I could drink 5 of these' as I sucked it down. The stuff was like no other kind of booze I had ever tried before. It was sweet but still had that boozy bite to it. I knew I had found a friend. Someone that would understand me, that I could talk to. Someone I could see whenever I wanted for under $5 a bottle. 

I have many regrets in my life. One of the top 5 is drinking the atrocious Banana Red after the blessed Kiwi Lemon. The fake, syrupy banana taste is one I will never forget. It's forged even more so in my brain after vomiting out the technicolor contents of my gut in the early morning hours. It was like a dead monkey crawled outta my innards. I felt horrible as this red green yellowish bile flowed freely outta my mouth. The toilet looked like a unicorn took a dump in it. I think I was sweating in fluorescent green colors, and I had the worst case of the shakes ever. Michael J. Fox would've made fun of my violent shaking. So really, all in all, my first dance with the dog was a success. 

And now my top MD flavors:
1. Blue Raspberry- no contest. I could drink gallons of this stuff. Goes down smooth, like a hooker in Vegas.

2. Electric Melon- Unreal delicious. This is the perfect MD to drink in a backyard over ice or in a dumpster covered in lice. Your choice.

3. Kiwi Lemon- as stated above, incredible.

4. Dragon Fruit- if this is what dragons actually taste like, I'm going hunting.

5. Orange Jubilee- this comes with an asterisk, as I actually only use this one as part of a mixer for screwdrivers (yes, vodka and mad dog, what could go wrong?).

...and finally at 
167. Red Grape Wine- this shit is VILE. Easily the worst one I've ever had. I imagine the process used to make this flavor is taking prunes filtered through gym socks and squeezing them out into a garbage truck to collect the liquid. Fucking TERRIBLE. 

Thanks for reading & drop me a line on Twitter @SouthieDanimal

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