The Splitzville Bender
The situation is: Your steady chick (the usual pussy) has
drifted away and left you alone holding your dick. It is something that all
guys go through sooner or later. Crying about it or general lamenting is not an
option.But this ordeal has to be dealt with in a timely manner.The biggest
questions that remain for a guy soon after a breakup are:
1. Did you leave anything important at her place? like expensive booze or pricey razors
2. Do you keep the faceless pussy,ass,and tits pics she sent
you, on your phone? at the risk of a new chick
seeing them
3. Can she sandbag you on social media? before you sandbag her
Once those issues are taken care
of,the process of healing can begin.
For a Kapn Krude,breakups are
about the impending 2 day booze bender I will partake in. Getting loaded for at
least 48 hours straight after a breakup is an necessary component in the human
experience. It's is pure catharsis.Getting a broad totally out of your system
by way of the bottle. Getting lost in the sauce.
Alas: The Splitzville Bender
I should trademark that phrase.
Before Gene Simmons or Pat Riley does. Or before it becomes a phrase on a cheap
t shirt found at a Jersey Shore taffy stand.
Bender boozing is an art form to
itself. Keeping a steady stream of alcohol entering into your system for a few
days is no child's play. I tend to stick with whiskey during my benders. Mix in
a few Coke's (for the sugar and caffeine) and let the slurred speech and wobbly
walking begin. Then end the bender with a quality bottle of chilled Cisco or
Thunderbird. The bum wines serve as the ultimate knock-out blow. If you
remember anything even remotely pleasing about the latest failed relationship after
this bender,then you haven't done it correctly. Feel free to start the bender
again. Mahalo.
Relationships usually start with
an alcohol related meeting.
Relationships usually end while
being stone cold sober.
Loaded > Sober
No brainer.
Que Sera Sera
KK
@kapn_krude
Tags:
krude experience