The Krude Experience - The Starting Lineup

The Starting Lineup

Having been referred to as being a 'diva' by a couple of few people, Krude needs to set the record straight. Very straight.


People often mistake me for being at least 10 years younger. And this doesn't happen without a mammoth effort on my part.


Vital stats:

I am 6'2". 183 lbs. 48 years old. Have most of my hair. And a fucked up spine.

My standard of living is mine and mine all alone. I never had any inspiration behind the way I operate on a daily basis.Personal grooming has been an obsessive trial and error for many years. Now that I'm older,I have found the definitive pattern for which I conduct my daily manscaping business. So for the amusement of all of youse, Krude comes clean about his daily methods of being Krude.

Days for me start off with a bowl of Honey Comb cereal, 2 burdock root capsules and a mild painkiller. Then I hit the bathroom. Cremo shave cream and a 5 blade razor.I use Grandpa charcoal based soaps and alcohol free cleansing conditioner for my shampoo and shower.Use one towel for my head. Another for my body. Back to Cremo for their post shave face moisturizer. Then it's time for the body works.

I usually have about 4 different deodorants to choose on every morning. They all have one thing in common: they are NOT anti persperants. It's usually what shirt I'm wearing that determines the deodorant choice. My feet come next. BioFreeze roll on for the swollen areas.Ankles,arch,balls of feet get the goop.Natural tea tree based spray to ward off athletes foot. Gold Bond mens body lotion for my calves and elbows. Thorlo padded socks for comfort and look. Highly recommended hosiery for anybody with sore feet.

Next is the hair. Depending on the length of my lid,this process can take anywhere between 5 to 15 minutes. Short hair gets Redken dishevel gel for style. And finish with Consort mens extra hold spray. Long hair gets a blow dry straightening and Consort finish. It's not an exact science that produces perfect results. But it works well for the most part. Finished with the grooming then comes a cologne. This year it's Tom Ford Fucking Fabulous cologne. It's a unisex fragrance but works well on me. Pricey as fuck though.

Put on my clothes. Then head off to sling hash for the Man. I work for the privilege of paying a corrupt ex wife and a bunch of life preserving bills. Whatever is left over is for Krude purposes: Booze,broads,baccarat etc... I live life hard. And try to look my best every step of the way. Hence the 'diva' slays from the near and dear. I wear that badge with honor. Mahalo

That's my story. And I'm sticking to it. Always living loud and proud- like this tune by Kevin M. Thomas. Cheers!


Washed
n'
Blown

KK
@kapn_krude

Don't forget to crack open a cold one and check out Kapn Krude on the latest edition of Bumming with Bobcat. It's no holds barred and anything goes! Grab a drink and give it a listen. Cheers!

Listen to "No Holds Barred with Kapn Krude" on Spreaker.

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