Corporate Schlock Rock
Would you eat just one kind of pizza from just one pizza
parlor for the rest of your life? Would drink just one kind of beer from just
one brewery for the rest of your life? What if you didn't have a choice in the
matter? Welcome to my take on the current Greta Van Fleet musical band phenomenon.
And why I think they suck (and not for the obvious reasons). Krude's take
commences...
GVF play grandpa rock. Sounds influenced by late 60s
early 70s rock.This style of music was old in the early 80s. The Darkness and
Wolfmother already covered this turf 15 years ago. And with much better
results.
GVF sound like a mediocre garage band. Hypothetically with
the singer's uncle (who would be an A+R guy for a record label) selling his
grandpa rock playing kin to the label in exchange for a better stock option
retirement package. i.e. A safe bet for all involved
GVF was currently labeled on my Amazon feed as 'children's
music'. Right next to Thomas the Tank Engine cd and Kidz Bop. I
doubt this was by mistake.
Is GVF the only new hard rock band that exists at the
moment? Sure seems like it. Big Brother's favorite band. Created for YOU.
And if other musical artists call out GVF and say they suck, BB has their back.
You WILL like this band.
GVF dress like sad, dopey hippies with moms approval
Younger kids really like this 'rock'? This band is their
'band'? Same was said about Nirvana: Derivative, riding a wave. I saw
Nirvana in 1991 just as Nevermind came out. Very mediocre. 3rd tier
Seattle band at the time. GVF have no peers. They come from no scene. They
don't like offending anybody. They think you are part of their Peaceful Army. Big
Brother was right about these guys. This is YOUR band.
When your CD is readily available at a Walmart,you have made
it. Or you have been completely manipulated by one of the rapidly narrowing
number of corporate media conglomerates to sell 'product' and to 'shift units' in
a major 'chain' store. See GVF,Taylor Swift, Nickelback,Kid Rock and other
musical Pop Tarts. In aisle 5. Near the footwear from China. Enjoy.
I love all kinds of music. But when a band seems like it is
being shoved down the world's collective throats by a force that is highly influential,
Krude doesn't go with the flow. I go with what I think is good to my ears. GVF
ain't it. And doubtful to mature into a stellar band. I have waxed poetic about
a NJ band called The Battery Electric before in this blog. The Battery
Electric is IT. Yet for some reason, Big Brother wants to exploit tired, stolen
riffs and girly wails by silly kids than solid tunes and real musicianship by
men. Fuck corporate rock. Always has and always will SUCK. Just like GVF.
Faul is not Paul
KK
@kapn_krude
Tags:
krude experience