SmackDown Live Review (Supersized with Ratings)
By Dennis DuBay
Hits: R Truth, Sami Zayn, Ali/Nakamura
Misses: Split screen commericals, “King Cuck” Mike Kanellis, the constant short jokes on Gable
Total Match Points: 13.7 AVG Match Rating: 2.28
The very last SmackDown Live on USA culminates from the Chase Center in S.F, California. On
the docket: Roman Reigns to clear air with Daniel Bryan, Kofi Kingston addresses Brock Lesnar
match, Charlotte Flair teams with 24/7 champ Carmella versus Bayley & Sasha Banks and
Shane … ugh. McMahon has invited Kevin Owens to chat on a special edition of Coffee Talk.
Show opens with a flashback to last weeks SDLive, where Rowan and Harper reunited and it
felt so good .. well, Unless you were Daniel Bryan, I suppose. So, I guess that means tonight,
The Big Dog and Bryan shake hands for a truly iconic moment in SmackDown history?
Rowan coming to ringside now. He’s walking with the strut of a mother lover? Graves says
Rowan is more motivated than ever before. Luke warm response from the fans. Says he now
commands respect. Fans aren’t buying it. He’s arguing with the fans now. Hate to see it. If you
can destroy and dominate, that makes you right. Well, that’s what Rowan said.
Daniel Bryan’s music hits. Fans are warmer to him. Not old time Bryan warm, but … it was a
nice little pop. Oh boy, Danny wants a fight RIGHT NOW.
Daniel Bryan v. Erick Rowan
Rowan takes the advantage early. Bryan probably now regretting leaving his salad in the back.
Least it won’t get cold. Lot of people talking about bit rates and what not on the twitter,
apparently the show looks differently. Commercial.
NXT commercial airs. Still waiting for an AEW spot … i’m beginning to think that’s an urban
legend.
Rowan throws Daniels into the ring post, he looks like he’s out. He needs some protein. Went to
a nine count, Rowan thought it was over - now he’s REALLY mad. Tossing Bryan around like a
rag doll. Graves says Bryan has shown no offense, and on cue, Daniel nails Rowan with a kick
to the leg and then a chop block. Daniel has taken control, using the post to wrap Rowan’s leg
around. Then drop kicks it into the post. Someone is gonna be limpin’ tomorrow. Rowan catches
Bryan and powerslams him, thinks it’s over but Daniel has the heart of a champion, am i right?
They traded punches, but then we went to a commercial in picture deal and I refuse to watch
when that happens, because they promised not to do that anymore. And I’m not accepting
anymore lies.
We’re back from the quasi commercial and Daniel has started to shift the momentum in his
control. We get a YES YES YES chant as Daniel chops the tree down. Graves just said Bryan
has no chance of winning this match.
You know what happens from there. Rowan ta.. Oh no, Harper interferes, and gets sent through
the announce table almost ...Rowan grabs Daniel and slams him back into the ring, Bryan’s leg
is STUCK in the rope - not sure if it was supposed to happen that way. Another iron claw slam
and Rowan has defeated the former world champion. (Match Rating: 3.1/5)
THE BIG DOG IS HERE!!!! Sorry, I have been conditioned to say it that way. A lawsuit is
pending. He should have stayed in the back. Rowan and Harper are having their way with him.
But Daniel comes to Reigns aid. Harper goes on the attack on Daniel, with Rowan coming back
in to get some more of Bryan. Reigns hits Rowan with a superman punch and the fans boo.
Reigns goes to help Daniel, but Daniel slaps his hand away. He wants a one word answer: Do
the fans want to see them kick their asses?
YES. YES … eh, fine.
Flashback of Lesnar returning to Smack Down for the first time in 40 years. And now Michael
Cole is sitting with Kofi Kingston. He’s doing Kofi Kingston things. He’s also clutching that title a
little tighter. Probably should.
Chad Gable coming to the ring. He was on Raw last night. Count me fucking confused.
Commercial. Gable is feeling bad for himself, making short jokes on himself. Or maybe he was
being facetious. I bet that’s the best time facetious has been written on bumwinebob.com .. King
Cuck is out now (Mike Kanellis) and has the audacity to call Gable short. This isn’t going to end
well for Mike.
Chad Gable v. Mike Kanellis.
Gable takes control quick. And ends the match ...lol. King Cuck has struck again. (Match
Rating: DUD)
Charlotte is backstage looking for Carmella. Want’s to know if Carm is focused on the match
tonight, and not worrying about the 24/7 title. Commercial.
Charlotte Flair & Carmella v. Bayley & Sasha Banks
Last night’s raw had one of the better women’s matches on WWE tv in a while, with Nikki Cross
and Sasha Banks going about fifteen minutes in a really entertaining match. Let’s see if Banks
can keep the streak going. I love that so many fans are in an upheaval about Bayley not
changing the dynamics of her character - why would she? She doesn’t think she is doing
anything wrong. She’s just being loyal to her best friend. Nothing has changed in her mind.
It just dawned on me that Carmella has changed her back to blonde. When did this happen? I
can’t keep up with the never ending look changes of these women. Flair is the more decorated
wrestler with the bigger moves, but I think Bayley may be a better overall wrestler - safer in the
ring, and always solid. Flair looks sloppy out there at times. And Banks scares the shit out of me
more times than not. And say what you want, but Carmella’s moves are always tight. Though
the superkick she just hit Banks with was weak. But got Bayley nicely on the apron. Banks pins
Carmella with an amazing transition into a bank statement, and the women come chasing for
the 24/7 champ. (Match Rating: 2.8/5)
Flair attacks Bayley, but Banks comes to her aid … Becky is HERE!!! And she’s coming down to
break up the fight.She’s taking it to both Banks and Bayley. Flair has disappeared. Becky went
for a disarmer, but Bayley pulled Sasha to sweet sweet safety. Commercial.
Ali v. Shinsuke Nakamura (I.C. Champion)
Sami Zayn is giving R Truth a run for his money as the best thing about WWE tv right now. He’s
so unlikable right now it’s lovable. Also: fuck dominos. Unless they want to sponsor our
wrestling page. Then, uh .. yum?
This should be a match of the night contender if given that right amount of time. Ali levels
Nakamura, leaping out of the ring through the ropes, landing on his damn head! Scary little
moment there. Nakamura takes back control as we go back to a split screen commercial. So
you know what that means.
We’re back and Ali just did this leap from the ropes that was both majestic and stupefying it was
so flawless. Even Sami was quiet over that leap. Jeesh. Would it be an upset if Ali beat
Shinsuke? Nakamura with a german suplex on Ali as he’s sliding underneath him under the
ropes, that was sweet. Ali answers with a superkick. This Ali kid is a good wrestler, am i right?
Reverse exploder reversed into an all most pin for Ali. Ali nails Nakamura with a DDT - Zayne
pulls Shinsuke out of the way but Ali takes out Nakamura with a leap over the ropes. Ali chases
Sami, around the ring … into the ring where Nakamura is waiting with a big kick to the face of
Ali and it’s elementary after that. Nakamura with the win via pinfall. (Match Rating: 3.5/5)
Ali is in the ring, a bit disappointed with the results of this match - fun match though. We get
thrown back into footage from two weeks ago as Kevin Owens was wrongfully terminated by
Sweaty Shane McMahon. Anyone else feel Owens is being totally wasted in this role? I miss
Stone Cold Owens. COMMERCIAL.
Wait. Did i miss something. They aren’t confronting each other now? Did i black out again?
New Day v. The B Team (Bo Dallas & Curtis Axel)
I’m seriously confused. Should I rewind the show or just go with it? B Team taking it to the New
Day - this would be a huge victory for the B Team. They are hinting that the B Team days are
numbered with the draft coming up. I’d like Axel to get a good singles run. New Day controlling
match now, hitting the Midnight Hour and just like that, match over. (Match Rating: 2.1/ 5 )
Sonya and Mandy in the back, handing out magazines.
Kabuki Warriors v. Fire & Desire (Mandy Rose & Sonya Deville)
What happened to Paige managing the Warriors? COMMERCIAL
I wonder, will the Warriors and MRSD get the honor of being the last SmackDown on USA
match? Or will EC3 come out for a squash? We have 20 minutes left.
I’m hoping Deville gets a monster push in 2020. She’s got an amazing look and probably top 5
ring work for the women in WWE. It’s time to push her. You hear me Vince? She’s roughing up
Asuka right now. But Asuka hands her a couple midsection kicks. Nothing slows down Deville
though, she’s back at it. Sane tried to kick Mandy’s magazine, but totally whiffed. That was
awkward.
So are Kevin Owens and Shane McMahon having a discussion or not?
Sorry, Mandy wraps up Asuka, but Asuka’s like “Umm, no.” and kicks out. This is five hours of
WWE tv reporting for me now, and i’m tempted to just cut and paste the observers thoughts ont
his match. Things have taken a turn in this match, the Warriors are dominating, hits the Macho
Man Elbow on Rose and this one is done. (Match Rating: 2.2 / 5 )
Oh, there’s Shane again. So i didn’t black out. I was getting concerned. You know, with all the
money that the McMahon’s have, you’d think they’d have a more recognizable lawyer - this guy
looks like a corporate lawyer for Kmart. You know, the company that is shuttering all it’s stores.
Shuttering is a weird word. I’ve never used it before and I don’t think I will ever again.
The Cholesterol Kid, Shane McMahon inside the ring. He’s throwing out options, the second
option is drop the damn lawsuit. He’ll hire him back on the spot. And kill the $100,000 fine.
Seems like a good deal. He wants a handshake. Classy. Fans aren’t buying it. Can you get
cholesterol by touching another person? Kevin declines the handshake. Owens seems pissed
now. Shane better just leave. This seems like a hostile environment now. Oh boy, Owen’s still
wants Shane fired.
Loser leaves match. Ugh.
Shane thinks there’s a catch. Owens wants it in a HELL IN A CELL. I think. Oh, wait .. he just
wants a ladder match. I think Shane accepted the match, but his mic was turned off. TALK
ABOUT A CLIFFHANGER!!!
Becky Lynch now on the screen, talking Becky talk. Sasha Banks attacks from behind. I think
Becky yelled “My asshole” … and on that note, this has been SmackDown Live on USA.