Freelance Wrestling: Send In The Clowns



Freelance Wrestling | Send In The Clowns | 2.7.20 | Chicago, Ill. | Logan Square Auditorium | IWTV

Review by Dennis DuBay

GPA & Jesus Bryce v. Da Soul Touchaz

Wait. What's a GPA? Grade Point Average? AIW's show had a CPA. What's going on with all these names. I wonder what Jim Corn... fuck it, I don't give a shit what Jim Cornette thinks. We are starting with tag team action. Jesus Bryce is a fucking look, right?

Man, Da Soul Touchaz are over with the Freelance crowd, am I right? Crowd was loud man. Four athletic looking dudes about to set course on destruction.

Staring at Marshe Rockett, this dude is huge. Like solid oak man. GPA & Jesus controlling the early moments of this match. Rockett came through the ropes like sweet butter, so smooth. He may kill someone in the ring. Jazz tries to tag in to Rockett, gets pulled away but Rockett's arms are so long he's all "Fuck dat, i'm in".

And he explodes on GPA and Bryce. But they get a handle on that .. for a second, but GPA finds himself in a precarious situation, real quick.

Da Soul Touchaz are scary man.

After the match, Jesus Bryce offers Acid Jazz and opportunity to join him ... then, all of a sudden, seven men with white, alien like mask attacks Jazz. Pretty sweet little angle there.  

Eight-Person Scramble: Tripp Cassidy v. Rickey Shane Page v. Laynie Luck v. Gregory Iron v. Elayna Black v. Dan The Dad v. Atticus Cogar v. Kobe Durst

Gregory Irons is a story a lot of people should take the time to know. Commentators noted he's been on 13 straight Freelance shows. RSP out next. He's a next level heel who you cannot help but love to hate. He's a lot of things, boring isn't one of them. Dan The Dad comes out to a HUGE pop. Isn't it crazy what a character tweak will do for a person? Dan has been on fire as of late. Elayna Black next ... you all know how I feel about Black. I think she has a ton of upside and she's improved so much in the little time I've been watching her. She is starting to feel the confidence build, I think. Laynie Luck is our next entrant. She's a ball of energy, my friends. She's the rainbow to Blacks cold soul in this match. Kobe Durst makes his way to the ring ... crowd seems confused as to what they want to do with Durst. Cheer or Jeer. Maybe I'm not hearing it right. Tripp Cassidy next. I don't even know how I'd explain Cassidy to nonIndy wrestling fans, just a very unique look. Even his movement's are different. Our last entrant is Atticus Cogar, who is another talent I'm pretty high on. Dude just oozes entertaining, charismatic epiphany waiting to happen.

Luck taking it to RSP quickly. I love this opening. We going intergender out the gate. But Black isn't happy that Luck is out there, so she tosses Luck out and now my two favorites in this match are going at it, Black and Cogar. Quick action as Durst is in and takes out Black, then RSP is in throwing Durst around like a wet rag. Cassidy hit's a 219 on RSP and now Iron's swinging on Cassidy dropping him to the mat... DAN THE DAD WITH A HUGE POP. This crowd has come alive and it was already alive!!

DAN STEALS IRONS NOSE!!!! Irons is irrate. YOU SICK FUCK chants ... Dad's back hurts. Probably from shoveling the snow before the show. This match is like five minutes in and every one of the eight wrestlers has been in. THATS HOW FAST THE ACTION IS.

The action is too fast, Durst just took out everyone but Luck, who was wise and stayed in the ring. She's got the unicorn mask on and she takes everyone out again. Cogar throws Black back in, Black says Fuck dat and nails him with a boot. Cogar just killed Black, she somehow kicks out because she's the greatest wrestler of all time that's why.

Okay. I need to calm down for a second.

Okay, Black almost just pinned RSP. Now Dad is mishandling Black, with an airplane spin. Black just falls to the ground. DAD IS GETTING THE BELT!!!!! Laynie's ass now looks like Cody's back.

Black and Luck are now destroying each other. Dan and Greg and Durst in the ring now. And Durst hit's Irons from the top rope.

This match is out of control!!!

Warhorse v. Isaias Velazquez v. Arik Cannon v. Tony Deppen for IWTV Championship.

Warhorse's meteoric rise to the top of the Indy food chain continues to destroy that which we call the solar system. If you haven't already watch Kenneth Johnston's documentary on Warhorse, do so after this review.

Arik Cannon is over big with the crowd, while Deppen didn't get the pop I thought he would. This should be a great match.

We're going on six months and twenty-five defenses of the IWTV title by Warhorse. The reign encompasses 143 days, which is third most. Orange Cassidy held the belt 146 days straight, while Tracy Williams held it a record 309 days.

Cannon and Warhorse share a beer. Well, they tried. Velazquez & Deppen ruin it, by stealing the beer. Now Deppen and Cannon have the beers and their flipping around with them. Shits gonna explode.

I can't watch.

BEER MIST BEER MIST. Velazquez has had enough of the hi jinx, and so has Warhorse, who's pissed that he hit his drinking buddy. He's gonna rule Isaias's ass.

I'm still mad at Warhorse for what he did to Kylie Rae at No On Put's BLP In A Corner. I just remembered that. Stupid jerk.

Warhorse uses his legs great. The missile drop kick is something of beauty. Also, Freelance's logo is bad ass. They should send me a free t-shirt. XXL my people.

Velazquez with some powerful kicks of his own to Warhorse, but the champ is able brush them off. Horse is now on the top rop, but instead of taking him out, Deppen went outside and taking out Cannon & Velazquez. I get the thinking but when you have Warhorse in a vulnerable spot, you gotta shoot your shot, kid.

This match ruled ass.

Take It Homewreckers v. Four Star Heroes & Kenny Sutra

I'm not too familiar with anyone in this match, so this is a learning match for me. Here's the thing about drinking massive amounts of beer and watching wrestling. I forget a lot about what I watch and at times, totally black out during some matches. Which is sometime a good thing and sometimes a bad thing.

Clearly Four Star is the fan favorites, but we got weapons and cameras and we got men down on the mat and Kenny Sutra is taking a picture of his dick so ... this has been an eventful match thus far.

Purple chairs are pretty cool. But not when you eat one, I'm guessing. Black chair into the solarplexs. Oh now, a steel chair enema next? Missed, but got another chair for his miss. It's Chairnado up in this bitch. GCW has doors, Freelance has chairs. They all seem to kill.

Mikey's hair is a style. He reminds me of the dude from Burt Reynold's old tv show, "Evening Shade," ... if you get that reference, you're old as fuck like me.

Purple chair is back. Pretty sweet coast to coast top rope to bottom corner move. Happened so quickly I didn't catch who jumped. I could rewind it, but maybe this will entice you to sign up for IWTV yourself and watch the show.

Chairs got boring, kendo sticks are out now. Why didn't MFJ hit Cody with kendo sticks instead of a silly belt? Oh, we have a table now. This match was a war. Looking around, I don't think there was a "winner" perse.

EFFY v. Project MONIX - Freelance Legacy Championship Match

Monix seeking a victory against EFFY, who has really been on a role as of late. I'd be lying if I didn't say he's really won me over lately.

Something that really separates the best independent promotions from the rest is the ability to make it's show look totally unique - both with lighting and sound. Freelance does a really great job of both. The setting is so easy to watch and the sound - especially intro music, has been top notch tonight.

Monix controlling early on, though EFFY doesn't seem to bothered by it. A big smile on his face remains. After a series of roll-ups, EFFY is not getting a bit frustrated, wouldn't take Monix's hand to get up. Pushes him away. Fans want him to take his hand. So he does.

And bites it!

Now he's grinding him ball sack into the arm of Monix and has taken control of the match. He dominates for a few moments but then the match get's chaotic quickly. Went from wrestling to everything very quickly. Monix is impressive. I don't get his attire, but that's not a big deal.

Frustration is showing in EFFY's face again, as Monix chops the shit out of him in the corner. Their now trading punches and chops in the center of the ring. Monix has had enough, falls to the mat. "Whose Your Daddy" chants from the crowd. Monix his EFFY with a bulldog but EFFY kicks out.

More chops are being shared. Chests are raw. EFFY is swaying. Monix is now chopping EFFY in the ass. BAD MOVE. BADDDD MOVE. EFFY had him down for the pin but Monix kicks out at 2 1/2. EFFY is back on the top rope, Monix hits the ropes, and EFFY falls on his sack. Monix signaling for his finisher .. EFFY is desperalty punching his way out of Monix's grip. Nails Moni... no, Monix hits a hurricanrana ...

Space Pirates v. The Gym Nasty Boyz - FREELANCE Tag Team Titles

Where do i start with this one. A Pirates match is never boring. I mean, there's a dude in a monkey outfit hiting people with his tail. Then you have IWTV's Step Stool Sarah interfering, that's what I'm calling it. Blatant rule bending.

At one point, i'm pretty sure I saw Space Monkey fling poo at the ref, but it got a no call because their the damn champions.

Timmy Lou Retton hit a majestic moonsault that, i'm pretty sure, his dick touched the ceiling of LSA, and that's not so much a big dick joke as it's a testament of how majestic that fucking moonsault was.

And OOOH AHHH OOOH AHHH chant is now going on. Yes, you read that right.

MAIN EVENT TIME: Kylie Rae v. Robert Anthony FREELANCE WORLD TITLE MATCH

I trust no one who comes to the ring with a clown. And no, i'm not talking about Lana.

Put Kylie Rae up there with Nick Gage, Warhorse, etc as one of the most over indy wrestlers in America right now. And it's not the backstory. The turbulent departure from AEW ... it's the worker. The simplicity in her work. I know a lot of people have an issue with men v women matches, but when you watch a Kylie Rae match, against any man in this business,she looks perfectly adept in that situation.

This match started off fast and angry, with Anthony attacking Rae in the middle of her entrance, stealing the fans celebration with their champion. And she IS their champion.

And i'm going to tell you what ... Anthony is not taking anything off his punches on Rae. Fists that would knock down any man or woman and Rae is absorbing it all - with Frank the Clown around every corner assisting the violence upon Rae.

You can feel the hatred in the ring. There is none of the independent wrestling "fun" right now. It's Anthony trying to steal Rae's smile and Rae desperately fighting to keep it.

"Jesus Christ," the announcer screams into the mic with a guttural disgust for Anthony as Anthony drops Rae on her face. Rae on her knees, punching Anthony as hard as she can. But she just can't get any traction in the match.

Anthony disrespectingly slapping Rae in the face and head a few times. Now he's just laughing and taunting the fans, and Rae isn't going to fucking take that shit.

Clowny got tossed and I DEMAND FREELANCE GIVE THAT REF A FUCKING RAISE. 

It's a new match now, bitches.

I don't know why I called you bitches. I just get emotional sometimes. Rae is in control now, kicks and punches, and Anthony finally looks like he's hurt.

Results after the ad ...


Hit Show for Results

Post a Comment

0 Comments