So last night I thought I was battling a heart attack. True story. From 12:30 till 5 a.m was basically saying my goodbye's in emails and text messages. If you didn't receive one - I fell asleep before getting to you.
It all started when my right arm went completely numb after two hours of black jack on my amazon fire tv. Incidentally, when my arm went numb, I was ranked 822 in the world at black jack.
While I was having my self diagnosed heart attack, I kept saying I was going to start exercising more and eating better, if I pulled through.
With that said, today's food review is the second in a three-part series of Cheeto's new line of "mac n' cheese". I put the parenthesis around the "mac 'n cheese" because this isn't mac n' cheese. Mac n' Cheese is elbow noodles - these are not elbow noodles.
Before we dive in, if you missed part one, "Flamin' Hot", click here. I think you'll find it a most beneficial read.
So today I tried the Cheesy Jalalepno "mac n' cheese. But I did it differently from the "Flamin Hot," box of mac. This time I didn't use butter and I added bacon to one bowl of it. I also used extra milk, on accident, as I wasn't paying attention to my pouring.
I blame Netflix for that.
I was hoping to capitalize more on the jalapeno heat with not using the butter - unfortunately, the milk broke down the heat ... but surprisingly there was a very tasty underneath heat that ... was a little more spicy than the "Flamin' Hot" package.
CRITERIA ONE: Taste
Shockingly, I think the Cheesy Jalapeno was tastier. I didn't get the "Flamin' Hot" tastes but I most certainly got the cheesy jalapeno flavoring with this box. Now, was it simply because I didn't follow Cheetos rules when making the cheesy jalapeno? Probably ... but I'll tell you this:
I over poured the milk and I'm glad I did. After the noodles were gone, there was a cheesy jalapeno soup left. I drank it. I drank it straight from the tit. Well, bowl, but It might as well have been from the Cheeto Goddess' Tit, because what I tasted was sweet divinity.
I need more of it.
CRITERIA TWO: Appearance.
Now, you all know how I felt about the appearance of the "Flamin' Hot" mac ... it still haunts me to this very day. The NEON RED stained to my teeth like I was a werewolf that had just attacked a virgin foraging for mushrooms in 1969.
Wait.
I think not adding the butter made a difference in the shock factor of the appearance here.
CRITERIA THREE: Structure
Just read the "Flamin' Hot" review, same thought process.
AND CONCLUSION:
Going into this three-part review series, I really thought "Flamin' Hot" would prevail as the champion of my mouth, but today, my friends I sit before you humbled and very full. Cheesy Jalapeno has taken the fucking lead.
Rating: 4.1 out of 5
Next up: Cheeto's Bold & Cheesy sometime in the next couple of days. Until then, check out my buddy Javier's review.