Krude NFL 2020 Preview
NFL MMXX will carry on!!! So, Krude is back
with his annual NFL Preview blog. Download your favorite sports gambling app. Tape
photos of NFL cheerleaders onto your coffee table. And stock up on MRE pizza.
King Goodell is going to entertain [sic] you. Bet on it. Damn
thy COVID-19. Let's roll!
Arizona Cardinals
Red birds pulled off the heist of the year by grabbing
Hopkins from hapless Texans. Murray in year 2 has no excuses. Except that the
Bidwell family still owns the team. My condolences
Atlanta Falcons
Does anybody besides local fans care about this team? Since
their brutal Super Bowl loss to Pats, these birds are mediocre at best. Matt
Ryan is this generations Dan Marino. Poor man's Marino
Baltimore Ravens
Ravens are favorites again this season due to spectacular
regular season play during 2019. Never trust a team that are regular season
champs. Just ask any team with home field advantage in recent playoffs
Buffalo Bills
Bills snuck into playoffs last year. Are they for real? Or
did a soft schedule mixed with functional parity finally pay off? Billy B still
has their number...
Carolina Panthers
Cam and Riverboat Ron. Both gone. Best RB in NFL,Xtian M gonna
have to gain 3000 yards on the ground for this team to win. Maybe 4 games.
Probably 2
Chicago Bears
Nick Foles brings his wholesome aura to Chi-Town to smarten
up draft bust Mitch. Otherwise, nobody likes anything (Khalil excluded) about
this once proud franchise
Cincinnati Bengals
Burrows was made Top Man in 2020 draft by the Bungles. No
amount of guaranteed up front $ will be worth it to Joe after eating super mega
rookie turds this season
Cleveland Browns
The Browns. 'Nuff said...
Dallas Cowboys
Jerry still doesn't want to pay Dak. The pieces are there.
The fan base still holds strong. HC Ruddy Mike couldn't win multiple Lombardis
with Rodgers. Dak ain't Aaron. Not even close
Denver Broncos
Elway is still employed by Donkeys. Failing upwards is a bad
disease. With no known cure. Good defense won't matter much in thin air either
Detroit Lions
Another perennial shit show of a football team. Next...
Green Bay Packers
The Pack is not Back. Another regular season champ fell flat
in playoffs last season. Rodgers might be on chopping block after 2020
Houston Texans
I genuinely hate this team. Nothing personal against players.
Just the most idiotic personnel moves and crap ass ownership sink this
franchise
Indianapolis Colts
Did Philip Rivers really move his wife and 73 children to
the Central Time Zone? A $25 million payday and playing in a dome makes Phil
post some good numbers. Except wins
Jacksonville Jaguars
What happened to the hard hitting,rag tag bunch from two
years ago? Is Tom Coughlin really that bad? Ask Michael Strahan. Ask Eli
Manning. Ask. Anybody
Kansas City Chiefs
This is the Patty Mahomes league now. Bad haircut mixed with
obscene talent and a Super Bowl ring equals $500 million. Seems about right
Los Angeles Chargers
Is this still a football team? Spanos is a creepy punk who
effectively erased any remaining fan base by sharing a stadium with Rams. Very
bad move
Los Angeles Rams
Best defensive player in NFL in Donald. Doesn't make up for
mediocre everything else. The Chargers sucking so bad will take heat off Goff.
He deserves the catcalls
Miami Dolphins
Weirdest QB ensemble ever assembled. Blue chip rookie.
Former blue chip rookie. And Captain Caveman. Won't be a dull team at all
Minnesota Vikings
These Norsemen are a lot like the Vikings of the 1970s. Just
without the failed Super Bowl appearances. Always missing a key ingredient
New England Patriots
Bye bye Brady. Hello Cam. 11 wins and an early playoff exit.
The decline of Pats is in full effect
New Orleans Saints
Sean and Drew are back. Wins a plenty. Does NFL want Saints
in Super Bowl this season? Hmmmm...
New York Giants
Vanilla Dan Brown is the man in East Rutherford for Jints. New
HC is from NE. Bust out the Pepto,Giants fans
New York Jets
Worst HC in league. Fans hate him. Players hate him. Yet
Gase's Adderall Rx stays fresh. Jets doomed to fail with this junkie
Oakland Raiders
New Death Star Dome in Vegas is ready. Is the Raiders
defense ever going to be at least average? Maybe. Just Win Baby!
Philadelphia Eagles
Carson needs to prove his worth quick in Philly. Foles won
their only ring. Eagles fans WILL destroy ALL that get in their way of winning.
Really
Pittsburgh Steelers
HC Tomlin is one of the best. He keeps this ragged squad
from having losing seasons. Barely
San Francisco 49ers
Best defense in NFL. Jimmy G is almost enough to beat Patty
M. Super Bowl again or bust this year
Seattle Seahawks
Russell has kept Pete employed way past his expiration date.
This marriage will remain as long as these two remain Seahawks
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Brady and Gronk playing for Glazer family.This could heaven for
Bucs fans. Or it could be hell. Only the Glazers know for sure
Tennessee Titans
Derrick Henry single handily resuscitated Ryan Tannenhill's
career. Yawn. Boring team. Tough to bet against this season
Washington Football Team
Not only does this Football Team lose a bunch of games every season. Now they've lost their name. Football Team fans are now called: Football Team fans
NFL 2020 will be a weird mofo with even weirder mojo. Who
knows what will really happen during this worldwide pandemic. Just expect NFL
business to continue and Goodell to say the 'correct' things. Maybe 'weird'
ain't the word for it...
Cheers!
KK
@kapn_krude
Stock up on some Tim Smith Climax Moonshine and stay tuned for Kapn Krude on the BWB 2020 NFL Season Preview edition of Bumming with Bobcat!
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