The Krude Experience - Up And Away

Up And Away

Yes. Krüde finds it difficult to just stay put for any given amount of time. Being stuck in the same routine doesn’t appeal to me in the least. I like to move. Land, sea or air. Doesn’t matter. A musical soundtrack always comes with the journey. And hopefully some tail

During the current pandemic, commercial air travel has become even weirder. My aging ass does remember when things like smoking and being served real meals (even in coach) was part of the deal. Now, we get to have very low waged grunts to watch an x ray machine to see if our luggage contains a weapon. Or worse: face moisturizer. Yes, face moisturizer was found in my chicks carry on bag and tossed in trash by TSA recently. Not even a large bottle either. Fucking A. Those hacks didn’t even find her cigarette lighters. Total joke

Here is some real travel advise from a seasoned traveler:

* Choosing the seat nearest to the airplane emergency exit door, just remember there is a unmovable partition between the two seats. I have given this partition the name of The Cock Blocker. Can't get any discreet hand job work in this seat. Just a ton of extra legroom. So if leg room isn’t an issue for you,stick to normal seat locations. And go for some grab ass at 30,000 feet.

* Getting booze on the plane isn’t difficult. Just pricey. The booze must be purchased after the TSA full body cavity search and grope. Airport prices ain’t user friendly either. And some airports close their bars down early to fuck with us. So just buy a bottle of anything. Then empty it. Bring it to the airport bar. Fill it with strong hooch. And remember, most flights under 3 hours won’t have drink service in the plane. Or just get blitzed during your Uber ride to airport.

COVID-19 has twisted the world into mask wearing, hand sanitizing zombies. On a commercial airplane, the rules of masks and hand wipes is multiplied. Yet, social distancing (6’) does not exist on a plane. Strange. Or not so strange that $$$ is the big cheese in this travel racket. Big business at its sleazy best

So that’s my story. And I’m sticking by it. With a mask on. Mahalo

 

On the road again….

KK

@kapn_krude

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