Growing up I fell in love with poetry - mainly because my Grandma was a published poet who would write and read poetry with me whenever we were together.
That's not a flex, unless you feel intimidated. Then it was a flex, bitch.
Sadly, I fell more in love with booze. Mainly beer, but I've danced with all the clears and the browns and the reds too. So I find myself just drinking most nights and only when it's time to go to bed do I remember that ... fuck, i'm a growing boy and need food.
Welcome to my food review column. Tonight, Stouffers Lasagna Bites. BUT NOT JUST Lasagna bites, my friends ... CLASSIC lasagna bites. BUT NOT JUST classic lasagna bites ... NEW lasagna bi... wait, what?
I'll preface this with: Do not attempt the things I do while intoxicated, I'm a professional. Order doordash or something. Learn to make PBJ's. Just don't cook.
Or cook. I'm not your boss.
I've been on a lasagna kick the last couple weeks - buying a Stouffers family size lasagna, eating it, feeling bad about myself and then making my own family size from scratch lasagna. Eating all of it. Crying in the bathroom.
Shitting. A lot.
Then I found these little gimmicks, the CLASSIC NEW lasagna bites. I was going to attempt to make them four different ways: Air Fryer, Oven, Deep Fryer & Microwave. Then I drank sixteen beers and forgot about the idea.
So I air fried them. Here's the thing though ... I didn't pay attention to time. And that may have been the undoing of this event.
They were okay - pretty crunchy but not burned - I detected no noodle inside as promised. That was a bummer. The sauce was very good - I was actually impressed how good the sauce was. The insides were pretty ample; unlike pizza rolls as they are today, hollow and void.
Had I prepared them correctly, these probably would have been amazing ...
17 out of 24 beers.