The Krude Experience - 2021 NFL Preview: Krüde Style

2021 NFL Preview. Krüde style

Greetings y’all. Its that time of year when manly men get giddy with pseudo excitement about watching ample bodied men wear tight knickers while playing a kids game. Oh well. American football is fun to watch. Roger Goodell loves to put on a show. Krüde will watch. You will too. Here is my take on every team this season.17 fucking games!!! Godspeed players. You will need our thoughts and prayers. And a lot of Vicodin. Let’s go!

Arizona Cardinals

Another season in the desert for the red birds. Another miscreant Texans star (Watt) setting up shop in Bidwell Land. Better luck next year. Or decade

Atlanta Falcons

Poor Matty Ryan. Hung out to dry by Blank and Co. No amount of $ will be worth it to eat the amount of shit Ryan will eat this year

Baltimore Ravens

Can this team ever show up in the playoffs? Regular season champs don’t get rings. They go home in January

Buffalo Bills

Fashionable pick for success this year. Small market team. Small minded players. Global warming hurts their home field freeze when it counts most

Carolina Panthers

Wow. Teddy Bridgewater gone. For Sam Darnold.  Hahahahahaha…..

Chicago Bears

Will these cuddly bears ever find a good QB? Andy Dalton and a rookie don’t cut it. Goodbye Matt Nagy

Cincinnati Bengals

Christ. This team still exists? Ickey Woods where are you?

Cleveland Browns

These fellas mean business. Always a fun time to watch Mayfield and friends take the field

Dallas Cowboys

Dak is Bak. Defense will be better. McCarthy will still suck. Jerry will make bank regardless

Denver Broncos

Rocky mountain high. Very high. If anybody thinks Lock is a lock to win anything

Detroit Lions

There’s a new sheriff in town named Goff. Not much else in Motown. Except cars,bars and weirdos

Green Bay Packers

He loves us. He loves us not. King Aaron hates being there. But the people of Green Bay need him. A modern tragedy that only Shakespeare could salivate over

Houston Texans

Twenty years into their existence. Twenty years of futility. Change the name to Oilers and hire Wade Phillips to right this sunken ship

Indianapolis Colts

Wentz = Hurts. Oops. I mean Hurt. Like always. Anybody have Luck’s flip phone number?

Jacksonville Jaguars

New hippy looking QB. To replace the other hippy looking QB. This isn’t pro wrestling Mr. Khan. Well, almost

Kansas City Chiefs

Big Andy and crew have something to prove. Patty M gonna play lights out. Defense gonna play lights on. Exposed

Las Vegas Raiders

Chucky needs not to sucky this season. Carr needs to Starr to make big bank next contract. Playoffs for sure if defense shows up every week

Las Angeles Chargers

A no ring franchise with a new franchise QB. And a new Head Coach. Usual case with these Bolts. Same results

Los Angeles Rams

Stafford will bring his zero playoff wins to LA to lose again in opening round of playoffs. And McVay will be McGone soon after

Miami Dolphins

Living on Tua time these days. Will he last more than 5 games without getting benched or worse? Ask the ghost of Don Shula

Minnesota Vikings

Cousins puts up stats. And that’s about it. Once great defense reduced to rubble last season. Zimmer ain’t gonna be around next year, that’s for certain

New England Patriots

Cam will start week 1. Mac will start the next 16 games. Belicheat will hand off to Shady Josh sooner than later after this dud season

New Orleans Saints

It’s the Payton/Jameis show now. I hope Alvin has Drew on his speed dial for a mid season call

New York Giants

Danny Jones is the Man in the Meadowlands now. Kinda makes you long for the days of the Kerry Collins era of Jints football

New York Jets

Total rebuild number 3 in the past 8 years. New HC seems solid. Johnson family still owns team. Same old Jets

Philadelphia Eagles

This team won it all a few years ago. Seems like a few hundred years ago. Most toxic home crowd, especially with a bad product on the field. Wear a suit of armor when attending an Eagles game this year

Pittsburgh Steelers

Ben’s last stand. This season will be ugly for Steelers. Except when they play the Bengals. Then they look like world beaters

San Francisco 49ers

Jimmy G puts up more wins during odd numbered years. He will still be the scapegoat if Niners fail in any way

Seattle Seahawks

DangeRuss has some pocket protection now. Last gasp of a SB run for Pete. Will be a wild ride for sure

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

As luck would have it… Tom knew exactly where to play. No repeat this season

Tennessee Titans

Does Henry have any fuel in the tank after a world class run of 3 stellar seasons? Can’t expect Tannehill to win games on his own

Washington Football Team

FitzMagic brings his Merlin beard and superior IQ to DC. This team could special. Or FitzTragic

There is my take on the 2021 NFL season. As always, tip your bartenders and wait staff nicely. Have a strong alibi when coming home late to your broad. And have some fucking fun. Your team can’t win them all.  Cheers!




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