2022 NFL Preview
Greetings from the sordid yet sweet world of Krüde. I am back with my annual NFL preview blog. Professional football is always a fun thing to follow and worship. The players,owners and coaches often giving us much reason to ridicule them. My job here is to exploit the already exploited actions of said players and teams. Why the fuck not? I’m Kapn Krüde. And this is my blog. Word. Let’s do it!
Arizona Cardinals
Murray is an all world talent. Too bad he is the size of a
jar of pickles. This team competes. And will break your gambling heart
Atlanta Falcons
Mariotaville now. Total trainwreck of an upcoming season. Hot
‘Lanta deserves better
Baltimore Ravens
Could be the class of their division. Or fools gold. Who
really knows? Harbaugh on borrowed time with Jackson as QB
Buffalo Bills
I once claimed Josh Allen wasn’t a star. I’ll stand by my
assessment. This team is above average,but not elite. Enough success to merit
the new Enormodome they are getting
Carolina Panthers
New home Baker Mayfield. ‘Nuff said
Chicago Bears
Windy City blues. Buddy Guy should write a bluesy number
about these chumps. Drink only hard liquor Bears fans. You’ll need it
Cincinnati Bengals
Boy,were we ALL wrong last year about this team. Burrow was
pushed hard. Just enough to make Cincy interesting during primetime games for
the next 12 years
Cleveland Browns
If all of Batman’s foes came together and played pro
football,they would be called the Browns. Like WTF?
Dallas Cowboys
NFC East champs cuz the division sucks so much. Could be a
surprise for gamblers. And a nightmare for fans. Jerry will send Brinks truck
to Sean Payton’s house next February
Denver Broncos
Russell Wilson will wish Pete Carroll was his coach by week
4. Donkeys D went with Fangio. Take a very deep breath Denver. Long season
Detroit Lions
Motown needs a boost. Going for 4th down
conversions all the time ain’t it. Same old same old….
Green Bay Packers
Doesn’t matter who Rodgers throws to. Pack makes playoffs.
And loses in spectacular fashion
Houston Texans
Never has a team been blessed with so much talent in recent
years. And managed to fuck it all up. Incompetence personified
Indianapolis Colts
Matt Ryan. Old man Matty getting in the saddle in Indy. Rivers,Wentz
etc …. Doesn’t matter who is at QB. It ain’t Luck
Jacksonville Jaguars
This team will be a total spoiler this season. They will win
games they shouldn’t. And lose games by a hair. Pederson will make a difference
Kansas City Chiefs
Mahomes has a ring. Reid has a ring. Win more than lose is
the MO for this team. Is there any motivation left in these guys?
Las Vegas Raiders
My pick for AFC Super Bowl team. All the stars have
alligned. Vegas needs a big winner. Goodell will give it to them
Los Angeles Chargers
Another good team that goes as far as their defense does. Winning
shootouts doesn’t bode well for anybody. Herbert can’t win by himself
Los Angeles Rams
McVey made a champ out of loser ass Stafford. Repeat ain’t
happening. Obviously
Miami Dolphins
Living on Tua time. Fish will compete enough. But not enough
for glory
Minnesota Vikings
Rebuild time in Minny. Or maybe Cousins finally learns how
to win. Either way a ways off from any post season action
New England Patriots
Mac the knife. Will cut you to size. It’s the Pats. They
will win. How they win is always the bone of contention
New Orleans Saints
Dennis Allen is head coach. QB room is Jameis and Andy
Dalton. This could get ugly very quickly.
New York Giants
Another year in the NJ swamp. Another year of sub prime
football. Daniel Jones is a first round QB bust. Time to gut the team
New York Jets
Good HC. Not so good team. Cutie pie QB ain’t no Broadway
Joe. Or Ken O’Brien. Or Mark Sanchez. Fireman Ed best save his vocal chords for
better times
Philadelphia Eagles
Hurts must be all world for these birds to fly. Lurie likes
to win more than make $. Should be fun to watch. And don’t challenge an Egales
fan to a fight
Pittsburgh Steelers
Tomlin will somehow eek 8 or 9 wins out of this squad. He is
that good a coach. Trubisky will get a pay raise cuz of HC Mike
San Francisco 49ers
Who will lead this team to the promised land? Trey Lance
gotta grow up quick. Same old cast of characters (except Jimmy G). Gamblers
beware
Seattle Seahawks
No lock with Lock. Geno ain’t it either. Carroll may quit
after this debacle of a season
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Tommy boy took a few weeks off to ‘clear his head’. He knows
something. Always does. This team going nowhere
Tennessee Titans
A meat and potatoes team. Run first. Strong D. Like the
Lombardi Packers,without the Hall of Famers.
Washington Commanders
Another name for this team. Same shit owner and stadium. Riverboat Ron will get results despite the nonsense. Just not enough
Pro football is upon us. 5 and a half months of good times. Bad times. And plenty of booze and greasy foods. Enjoy!
Win your parlays….
KK
T @kapn_krude
I @krude_kapn
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