Applebee's $1 Long Island Iced Tea Review
By Dan Moore
Well, people, I’ve done it. For you. I’ve gone off at my
lunch break today and decided to drink some cheap booze. If you missed the
announcement yesterday, and by the looks of the ‘Bees at 11:30 AM you did,
Applebee’s told the world that they’d be serving Long Islands during December
for a dollar. I headed down to my local ‘Bees and imbibed a few.
Applebee’s is about 10 minutes from where I work, so I went
early to beat the LIC (that’s the Long Island Crew. That’s what we call
ourselves. Don’t @ me). Well, I was real early, as in the only guy at the bar
early. That’s awesome & sad all at once.
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| That's the manager. |
I plop down and this pleasant young lady says “Hi, can I get
you something to drink? We have dollar Long Islands all month” which was nice
of her. It allowed me to save my dignity and not have to ask for one before
noon. I answered in the positive and she heads down to what can only be called
a vat of ice tea.
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| Actual Size |
She comes back with what can only be described as an ice tea
like drink. It’s very sugary and quite tart. But it’s got a kick to it. I dunno
how much booze was in this thing but there was a definite presence. It wasn’t
that offensive to the palette but it wasn’t that good either. I didn’t know how
much I liked this one so I had to see if the second one would be better.
 |
| Spoiler alert: It wasn't |
Look, I dunno if you can drink a ton of these in succession
without darting around like a fucking jumping bean. But they were starting to
deliver that warm glowing drunk feeling. It could be that I drank two of them
in about 20 minutes, but whatever, YOU’RE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM. For a buck
a piece, you could do worse. Even if it’s got about half a shot of booze in it,
it’s still worth it, in my opinion. But then again, I ran outta beer the other
night and drank turpentine, so don’t listen to me. I’d give this monstrosity a
cool 2.5 DUIs out of 4. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some diabetes to
attend to.
