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Friday, December 1, 2017

Applebee's $1 Long Island Iced Tea Review


Applebee's $1 Long Island Iced Tea Review

By Dan Moore


Well, people, I’ve done it. For you. I’ve gone off at my lunch break today and decided to drink some cheap booze. If you missed the announcement yesterday, and by the looks of the ‘Bees at 11:30 AM you did, Applebee’s told the world that they’d be serving Long Islands during December for a dollar. I headed down to my local ‘Bees and imbibed a few. 

Applebee’s is about 10 minutes from where I work, so I went early to beat the LIC (that’s the Long Island Crew. That’s what we call ourselves. Don’t @ me). Well, I was real early, as in the only guy at the bar early. That’s awesome & sad all at once.
That's the manager.
I plop down and this pleasant young lady says “Hi, can I get you something to drink? We have dollar Long Islands all month” which was nice of her. It allowed me to save my dignity and not have to ask for one before noon. I answered in the positive and she heads down to what can only be called a vat of ice tea.
Actual Size
She comes back with what can only be described as an ice tea like drink. It’s very sugary and quite tart. But it’s got a kick to it. I dunno how much booze was in this thing but there was a definite presence. It wasn’t that offensive to the palette but it wasn’t that good either. I didn’t know how much I liked this one so I had to see if the second one would be better.

Spoiler alert: It wasn't
Look, I dunno if you can drink a ton of these in succession without darting around like a fucking jumping bean. But they were starting to deliver that warm glowing drunk feeling. It could be that I drank two of them in about 20 minutes, but whatever, YOU’RE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM. For a buck a piece, you could do worse. Even if it’s got about half a shot of booze in it, it’s still worth it, in my opinion. But then again, I ran outta beer the other night and drank turpentine, so don’t listen to me. I’d give this monstrosity a cool 2.5 DUIs out of 4. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some diabetes to attend to.

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