Pro Wrestling Intoxicated - The dirtsheet no one .. and i mean no one ... asked for.

 

From the bar stool of BWB Wrestling Editor Dennis,

Cheers! It's been a minute and there's lots to go over, so lets jump into the news, shall we?

This time of the year is my favorite - the G1 is upon us. Tons of great wrestling and the loss of both sleep and reality for those who consume every night (or early morning, depending upon where you live). It's become a tradition of mine to see how little i can sleep while drinking as much as humanly possible watching the G1, which normally ends up with my stomach being pumped half way through the tournament.

Wait. You aren't familiar with the G1?

Well, this is a great time to introduce you to a new member of the BWB Wrestling team, Drunk Bot 3000; the state of the art AI machine (well, listen. Bob gave me 13 dollars and this is what our IT staff came up with). 

Drunk Bot, for those who haven't watched the G1 in the past, tell them about it:

Hey, my friend! Let me tell you about the G1 Tournament in New Japan Pro Wrestling (NJPW). So, imagine this: you've got a bunch of Japanese wrestlers, and they're all itching to prove they're the best in the ring, ya know? And what better way to settle that than with a month-long, grueling, no-holds-barred tournament?

Now, this ain't your ordinary tournament. It's called the G1 Climax, and it's like a marathon on steroids. They take 20 32 of the toughest dudes and split 'em into two blocks, A and B (and now C & D, as well). Each wrestler in a block has to face everyone else in their block, and you better believe they're out for blood.

These guys go at it night after night, giving it their all, and let me tell you, there's some epic battles. Picture this: big dudes slamming each other, high-flying acrobatics, and more dropkicks than you can count. It's like watching a bar fight on a trampoline, but with better choreography.

Now, after weeks of sweat, tears, and maybe a few broken bones, the top point earners from each block face off in the final. It's like the climax of a great action movie, except it's live and in the flesh. They call it the G1 Climax because it's like the ultimate ascent to the top of the wrestling mountain.

And when that final bell rings, the winner gets a shot at the IWGP Heavyweight Championship. That's like the grand prize, my friend. It's the ultimate reward for their blood, sweat, and beers... I mean, tears. Sorry, I've had a few too many.

So, there you have it, the G1 Tournament in all its glory. It's like a wild rollercoaster ride of suplexes, submissions, and surprises. If you're a wrestling fan, you don't wanna miss it. And if you're not, well, grab a cold one and give it a shot. Trust me, it's gonna blow your mind!

Thank you Drunk Bot 3000.

Now if that's not enough wrestling for you, there's a FULL schedule of happenings this weekend, here, have a list of events:

July 14th:

Scenic City Invitational Tournament - Day One (IWTV.Live)

SOS Pro Wrestling (IWTV.Live)

GCW Now & Forever (Fite.TV+)

FSW High Octane (Fite.TV+)

AAW United We Stand (Highspots.TV)

AEW Rampage 

WWE Smackdown

July 15th: 

AAA: TripleMania XXXI - Tijuana (Fite.TV)

Impact Wrestling: Slammiversary 23 (Fite.TV, Premier Streaming Network)

CCW Capital Cup Tag Team Tournament (TitleMatchNetwork.com)

AIW: Absolution XVI (Fite.TV+)

IWS: Scarred 4 Life

Action Futures Showcase 2023 (IWTV.Live)

Scenic City Invitation Tournament - Day Two - (IWTV.live)

PPW Sons of Liberty (Premier Streaming Network)

AEW Collision

Congratulations to BWB favorite, Delmi Exo, on becoming a double champ, beating Ava Everett for the WXW Women's championship at MLW's "Never say Never," last weekend. Exo also holds the MLW Women's Featherweight title, defeating Taya Valkrie 99 days ago. Fightful's Sean Ross Sapp reports that Exo has her eye on a few individuals she'd like to bring in to MLW; lets hope one of them is Megan Bayne.

Bayne seemed poised to be added to AEW's roster when an injury sidelined her for an extended period of time. Exo & Bayne had a really fun match in may at Beyond's "Wrestling Open" show. Bayne scored a victory over fan favorite Anthony Greene last weekends "Water Water Everywhere," card. 

Lash Leroux, former WCW midcarder, has signed on for a GCW show in Chicago in September. Leroux was one of my favorite midcarders - I remember calling him the southern Chris Jericho, for some reason, back in the day. Not because he wrestled like Jericho, he just seemed like the same kind of dude behind the scenes. I don't know. Let's blame the beer.

Mark Briscoe will not be at Death Before Dishonor on 7/21 - he's dealing with an injury - I feel like I heard it was a shoulder situation; could be wrong on that.

Really enjoyed this week's edition of ROH - episode 20. Big Bill is starting to win me over - was never a big fan, but his showing both this week on ROH and also on AEW's Dynamite, both grabbed my attention. Leyla Hirsch returned to action - while not looking 100%, it was nice to see her back in action; will take time to get back to where she was, as I feel a lot of people positioned her high up in the women's ranks.

A title eliminator tournament to determine the next challenger of Samoa Joe's TV title was announced; Dalton Castle will take on Tony Nese, while Shawn Dean will battle Shane Taylor in first round action.

With Briscoe out for Death Before Dishonor, there's been a big push to have Athena main event the show.

TWEET OF THE WEEK

My new favorite wrestler, Mariah Mayx, tweeted out to some incel this tweet, possibly the greatest tweet of all tweets in tweetland.

Said incel then deleted his tweet, because not only has he never touched a pussy, he in fact is a pussy.

you’ve never touched pussy for some reason 🤷🏼‍♀️ https://t.co/v252AGaDqb

— Mariah May ♡ マライア・メイ (@MariahMayx) July 14, 2023

DRUNK BOT 3000 DRINK OF THE WEEK

Inspired by the upcoming G1 Climax, I ...er, Drunk Bot 3000, brings you the "G1 Slamdown".

Introducing the "G1 Slamdown" cocktail, inspired by the electrifying NJPW G1 Climax tournament! This drink combines the intensity of wrestling with the flavors that'll make your taste buds soar. Here's how you can make it:

Ingredients:

• 2 oz of Japanese sake (representing the tournament's Japanese roots)
• 1 oz of bourbon (symbolizing the hard-hitting action)
• 1 oz of pineapple juice (for a tropical twist, reminiscent of wrestlers' high-flying maneuvers)
• 0.5 oz of lime juice (to add a zesty kick)
• 0.5 oz of simple syrup (for a touch of sweetness)
• Ginger beer (to give it a refreshing fizz)
• Ice cubes
• Pineapple wedge and lime slice (for garnish)

Instructions:

• Fill a shaker with ice cubes.
• Pour in the sake, bourbon, pineapple juice, lime juice, and simple syrup.
• Shake vigorously to mix and chill the ingredients.
• Strain the mixture into a highball glass filled with fresh ice.
• Top it off with ginger beer for that exciting fizz and extra flavor.
• Give it a gentle stir to combine everything.
• Garnish the glass with a pineapple wedge and a lime slice for that wrestler-worthy presentation.
• Now, raise your glass and toast to the G1 Climax! Sip on the G1 Slamdown and let the combination of sake, bourbon, and vibrant flavors transport you to the world of hard-hitting action and exhilarating wrestling moments. Enjoy responsibly and cheers to an unforgettable tournament!